Breakfast: this unsweetened rice cereal shit is shitty. I’m just saying. And eating it with fucking rice milk is just gross. Oh man. I’m having it with grape juice so I can swallow ALL THE PILLS. I can’t swallow pills with water. I throw them up. Souvenir of overdosing.
For the record I’m taking: birth control pills (supposedly as a mood stabilizer–Noah and I don’t think it is helping), SAM-E (some other mood stabilizer kinda supplement my shrink wants me on), fish oil (mood management), B-Complex (filling in the gaps on my shitty diet and mood management), probiotic (gut health), Ibuprofen (I’ve been taking one a day for a while because I hurt so fucking much), and some days I take my pot pills. Not every day.
I tried swallowing the pills with water. I puked.
lunch and dinner came out of the same pot: I made fried rice with the last of the rice I made using the onion powder containing broth. So that contaminant will be out again soon. I had this totally weird moment where I looked in the fridge wondering what I would use for the fried rice and I saw the bell pepper and thought, “I’m having fucking bell pepper. They can’t take everything away from me. I’M EATING MY GOD DAMN BELL PEPPER.” And that was really weird for me. I didn’t eat vegetables until I was in my late teens because my fiance forced me to eat that shit. I didn’t start eating bell peppers by choice till my late 20’s. This was a weird moment. I also included carrot (less enthusiasm but still important) and cabbage with the turkey. I stir fry in olive oil (cold pressed or I’m not supposed to eat it) and use salt and pepper. It tasted better than you would think after the deprivation of the last few weeks.
Lots of peppermint tea. Supposedly it is cooling to the intestines.
Today gets a cut tag for all the poop. Oh man.
I’m pretty sure I reacted to the egg I had on day 16.
At 12:30 am I woke up to poop. There were several small formed pieces and one nearly normal looking poop. Brown. Not too pasty.
4am: wicked diarrhea. Yellow/green and totally liquid. Burn burn burn.
5am: wicked diarrhea. Super green. Lots of urgency and very little produced.
8:45 am: slightly less urgency, not a lot of quantity, still very liquid and green. Still buuuuuuuuuurns.
8pm: semi-formed, green, pasty. No burning. (Thank goodness.)
I’m pretty sure that is a reaction!!! That’s like, a sign!! That is what this is SUPPOSED TO DO! I’m so excited. If I can narrow down what is causing me the most problems I can make adjustments to my life and suffer less. As annoying as “being allergic” to eggs would be, it would be easier to adjust to than this fucking diarrhea.
I’m thrilled. Even though my butt hurts. Yesterday I still had a lot of body pain. Headache. I am one grumpy mother fucker. I don’t feel as hungry but I feel nutrient deprived. I want more vegetables. Even more than I’m craving dairy or wheat I want a wider variety of vegetables and that is just fucking wacky. What is wrong with me?
My friend (who is a health provider and a vegetarian who is also wheat and dairy free) says my palate is going to change a lot and I should keep an open mind. Whoa.
And that is the state of my butt before I go run 9 miles.