Bad moment

This minute is really bad. I’m very sad. I’m confusing a lot of grief over my mother and not being cared for with grief about friendships not working how I want them to work. There is nothing I can do about either situation.

Right now I am completely empty.

It is hard going up and down like this so many times in a day. I feel wrung out like a towel. I feel likeĀ everything is all my fault and people should try very hard to get away from me because I am so terrible. I want to die so I don’t hurt anyone else.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.