1. I really wish I didn’t have to care about your feelings more than mine.
2. If I didn’t love you bigger than the WHOLE FUCKING SKY I would knock your block off when you hit me. Instead I hiss through my teeth, “Stop hitting me.” I hope it works some day.
3. I feel really bad that I get so angry around folks like you. It isn’t your fault. You haven’t done a thing wrong. You’ve been so nice to me. But the symbol of what you represent… oh gosh. I’m sorry I catch you in that net.
4. I’m not calling you. I’m not bringing my kids to your house. I’m done with you. “Family”. Hah.
5. I am not going to drive through your city tomorrow. It is a conscious choice because you don’t want to know me any more. I probably won’t go back to that city until I’m sure you are gone from there.
6. I miss you. I’m sad that you didn’t respond to my emails. Guess we won’t meet up on this trip. Haven’t seen you in…11? 12? years. I love you still. I think I always will.
7. I’m going to be sad for the rest of my life that you ended our relationship because you weren’t getting enough support but you didn’t ask even once for support and I was told no every time I offered.
8. Fuck you.
9. I’m tired of feeling like my options are “be alone” or “be abused” but you make it clear that with you those are the options. I’ll pick being alone. Good thing I’m not actually alone anymore.
10. I want to be nice to you and I don’t know how. You give no directions. You don’t tell me what you want or prefer. But I get punished when I do things wrong. Right.