Therapy this morning was intense. It is rare I sob hysterically for half a session. I’m really struggling with feelings about my mom. It is fascinating how it is working this season. It’s different than previous years. I pretty much didn’t think about my mom till December 26th and it’s been a sob-fest since. It has been especially brutal during the t-break.

My shrink is very strongly urging me to back off on blogging for a bit and write some books. She believes there is more catharsis for me there than the shorter form brain dumps.

I had an acupuncture appointment today. The woman I saw was incredibly motherly, gentle and kind. She also does some form of massage (Tui Na–whatever that means; ok fine I should look it up) that she says is especially good for PTSD because it is good at working on releasing emotions as opposed to muscular pain. That sounds like a big claim. I need to research. I’m also willing to try just about anything once. She did wonders for my shoulder pain. The low back stuff is so tricky.

I have a chiropractic appointment in 2.5 hours. Then Eldest Child has a gymnastics class.

I’ve also called several contracting companies. Some are busy. Some are checking in. Some haven’t called me back yet. I have to get on it though. We have 179 days till the permit expires. I should probably call more people today…

I’m tired and sad. I don’t want to fix me. I want to lie down and never get up again.

3 thoughts on “Briefly

  1. blacksheep

    Have you ever had abdominal massage work done? I was talking with my friend who does Thai massage as he was doing some of that work on me today, and we were talking about the intensity of emotional release that comes along with abdominal fascial work. It hurts like a motherfucker, but man does it do good stuff. It’s hard though. He said he had to stop doing that work as routine treatment because people would stop coming because they just couldn’t handle all the stuff coming up. He also was telling me that the reason he got into doing Thai massage was that he had Meneire’s (sp?) and it was fixed with 4 hours of intense abdominal work over two sessions. He’s a neat guy.

    Unrelated…sometimes I almost feel jealous of the fact that you miss your mom. I don’t crave mine at all…I feel sad that I’ve just given up, and I can’t remember a time beyond being VERY young that I trusted or craved her support. Sigh.

    1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      I believe it is weird not missing your mom. It has occurred to me that this way I get to put my mom on a pedestal and she can never make a mistake again. I don’t think people miss their parents like this when they have more contact. This is an absence problem.

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