A new normal

Well since I blocked IP addresses and referrer sites I’m no longer having panic attacks about the number of hits my blog is getting. Want to know something funny? The number has climbed. I just don’t know where it is coming from. I used to average 40-80 hits/day fairly consistently. That’s been true a long time–like, years.

Now over 200 hits a day is rather common. But I don’t have a trail directly from me to people mocking me.

I’m cool with this. I can live with lots of people coming around. Just don’t… directly leave a trail to being mean, ok? Then we can all live and let live and it’s all good.

I hired a contracting company. I scheduled gardening stuff. I did an hour of clean up/weeding yesterday and I felt so happy about how my yard is coming along. I really have created a magnificent experience in this tiny little yard.

Oh! I had the most exciting thing happen this morning!!!!


I woke up to this really strong mental picture. Of a giant drawer that is almost entirely empty, but rattling around on the bottom… there was one spoon!!!!!

I haven’t woken up to having a spoon in my drawer in a long time. I’ve been dealing with very painful deficit for a while here.

But this morning I woke up with a spoon. It isn’t enough for what I’m going to do today. I’m going into deficit already.


That means I’m generating more than I’m burning for the first time in a long time.


That hasn’t been true in months.

My tolerance for pot is way lower than it was. In the past two days I’ve been using 10%-20% of what I was using a week ago and I feel about as high as a kite. Which… is a little mixed. I haven’t been high in a long time.

I’m one of those highly functional heavy users most of the time. I lost a little of that. It’s a hilarious mixed bag.

It is going to be a truly exciting day. I have a different doctor appointment this morning. Then I get to do a little bit of gardening. Then a little bit of writing. Then I get to go to tile stores and ask for the leftovers from boxes. Then I get to have dinner with some of my former students. Some of the ones who build me up and make me feel like clearly I am an important person in their lives because they have made great effort to keep me present.

I am really hopeful about the possibility of today being a good day.

2 thoughts on “A new normal

  1. Joe Lowery

    It’s really nice to hear you’re in a positive mood. I hope your day turns out great. 🙂

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