Cycles must change

Had a chat with Noah last night about the fact that he’s been a wilting flower for quite a while here. He periodically complains that all he gets to do is work. He’s right that all he does is work at his job, work on his second job, and work at home. It’s true. But I’ve been telling him to change that for over a year. I was kinda mad at him for sitting at home when we were on the roadtrip. YOU HAVE FRIENDS. GO SEE THEM.

But Noah does that man-thing where he isn’t good at organizing and arranging stuff with people unless he is dating them. Then he’s better than average.

I told Noah that he should finish the book he is most of the way through creating, because he’s already put so much time into it. But he should finish by June. Then he needs to take a break from having a second job, kind of indefinitely.

And instead of hunting for a raise in your next job you should look for an 80% position. If we could have that at exactly this salary, rad. If we lost $10k-$20k it wouldn’t be a problem at all. If we kept good medical insurance, a $20,000 dip would be fine if it gave us 3 day weekends every week.

Noah has been working like a fiend for ten straight years. He has provided magnificently. He has put us on a such a trajectory that it would take a rather major disaster for us to lose course. We are almost set for life.

And it’s not really about the second job, you know? Your primary job pays absurdly well. We are fine. It’s ok to spend more time not working. It’s ok to remember if you even have friends. Hell, after how hard you’ve worked for this long… go date. Something. Stop looking like a sad zombie walking through life.

I have worried that Noah was depressed for a while. I’ve been talking to him about it. He doesn’t find a lot of joy in… anything. I’m concerned. If this is how you feel just doing work and the kids and me…

Let’s change something. You matter. You are so important. Your happiness is so important.

Sarah is smart and Sarah says, “Ok, you are up. How are you going to handle the come down?”

This is why I keep my friends around. They check me on my shit. They keep it real. They remind me of the realities of my life. I know I’ll come down again.

I’m actually being somewhat careful about this up. I’m not adding that many new things. A date a month. A couple of parties a month. That’s … very moderate for me.

The kids, Noah, and I have all expressed a really strong desire to slow down, which I find hilarious given that we have a slower pace of life than most of the people we know in the bay area. This is still too much for me. Everyone has requested that we try to get to two days a week of classes. (That’ll be tricky.) We want to have not a lot on our plates so that we have the energy to say, “Hey do any of our friends want to come over for dinner?”

Right now we are too tired. We don’t want to see people much because we are drained and pissy. Everything dips from our bucket instead of filling it.

Only flirting with my submissive is dumping extra spoons in my drawer every day. I’m sleeping really well. Last night I got more than eight hours of sleep. I’m trying so hard.


I’m told I have to go cook eggs now. I told Noah he could have a no-chore weekend because he’s looking like a limp dish rag.

I love you honey.