First date: cupid

Well. That didn’t go as planned. I’m not entirely sure what I planned but that wasn’t quite it.

I arrived on time. I arrived shaking and freaked out. Am I talking someone into doing something they don’t really want to do? I’m feeling very worried about this. I’m scared I’m pushing people.

When I got to the door I asked him if we could sit for a minute and talk before we got started. He looked concerned. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to be here because in the past I have pushed people to do things they didn’t actually want to do and I don’t want to do that anymore.

He smiled at me. He wanted to do this.

We talked a little bit more and then moved into the play area. He had me immediately strip. He put cuffs on my ankles and wrists and attached me to a frame. My legs were spread far enough that standing was uncomfortable pretty much the whole time. My arms were spread wide enough that mid-way I had to ask that my arms be lowered because my shoulder wussed out.

Wussing out was a theme of the night.

He was really nice. He gave me a long, slow warm up with lots of canes. He went through so many toys, I can’t begin to remember them all. My favorite things were the punching and the mallet. Because getting hit with a mallet is awesome.

I still don’t process sting very well. I’m a thuddy girl.

He used a deerskin flogger for a while and I was shocked by how well that went. The cat of nine tails, not so much. Ow, motherfucker.

This was an unusual beating for me. I scheduled it hoping to cry. By the time I got there I was nervous and high strung and… on the verge of crying. So once we got started playing it morphed quite a bit.

I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed that much while being hit before. I felt giddy. It was funnier than hell. I almost fell over once or twice from laughing so hard. I don’t know why it was that funny. But it was lovely.

I didn’t go to a dark place and I’m not sad. Instead my nice friend beat me until I was ready to beg him to fuck me. (Our safeword.)

That was quite a fuck too. I haven’t had sex while locked in an uncomfortable position in many years. There was gear involved and positioning I’m not going to try to explain right now because holy crud tired.

Oh so hot.

I am so tired I feel like I could melt. Today is a scheduled tile day. My body is sore. I want pictures of the bruising but I haven’t taken them  yet.

Cupid agrees that I am not a pain slut. I might be a masochist, but there are degrees here. I only seem like such a heavy masochist because normally I play with mild to moderate sadists. Perspective matters.

I had to cry uncle. I just… didn’t want to be hit any more. I was done.

He didn’t kiss me at all until the scene and the sex was over. That was hot and hard at the same time. It felt like the old days. I’m not used to that any more.

We snuggled and talked afterwards. Of course I’m worried I talked too much and I said a bunch of shit he doesn’t care about. I can’t worry about that too much. He invited me back.

I liked the way he looked at me. I’ll be back.

I am feeling very lucky and blessed. I came home and had an intense conversation with Noah about what all is going on here. What kinds of limits and boundaries are important to us. How is that shifting? What are we going to do?

Of course we ended this with wicked hot sex. Like we do.

Now I need to stop typing before my arms stage a revolt.

One thought on “First date: cupid

  1. Michelle

    Bodies are so interesting. I have almost exactly the opposite relationship with sting/thud. For the past few years heavy thud has been a hard limit, it is very triggery for me, but most sting feels delicious. Not horsehair though, horsehair just annoys me. As a top stingy toys seem to be easier for me to wield too.

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