Defensiveness and time

Recently I was asked why I am busy. It was asked by someone I don’t know and I don’t care to know more. I didn’t feel the question came out of curiosity but rather “You are a housewife, what could you do that keeps you busy?”

I didn’t answer. I’m not going to answer such a question when I do not like why it is asked. It is none of your business.

So instead I mull on it for myself and shred myself because surely I don’t do enough. I’m lazy. I’m worthless.

What do I do with my time? Sure I do the housewife shit, minus cooking. And Noah has started doing laundry in the last few weeks.

I also homeschool my kids, which takes a lot more hours than you would think. I plan, I execute, I clean up.

I spend a tremendous amount of time researching child development because I need to do this right and I don’t know how.

I plan for travel. My kids are world travelers in a way I could not have imagined when I was a child living in abject poverty. My kids have seen the world. I couldn’t imagine the world. It takes a surprising amount of time to plan and execute.

I have a social life that is busier than it should be. I know.

I garden and remodel my house. This takes up a lot of my time.

I have written two books and I need to take the second apart and simplify it and I have more waiting to get out. I don’t have the spoons to address this right now. But it intermittently fills my time.

I provide a lot of support for various sufferers of mental and physical health problems. I do a lot of this online but it also exists in my real life. I need connection with other people who have experienced trauma. I spend time on this.

I manage my own physical and mental health problems. Do y’all realize I’m up to nine health care providers and I have more referrals coming that haven’t been followed up on yet? I also need to keep up with managing my kids health care providers.

What do I do? Oh, not much. Just sit around watching Netflix and eating bonbons. Like you do.

5 thoughts on “Defensiveness and time

  1. Danaoshee

    What a fucked up question.
    On the childrearing research – do you have a book you suggest for the first year?

    Reply
    1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      I… don’t really. The first year is “eat, sleep, change diaper, repeat.” I mean there is introduction of foods in the second six months but I got most of my information from: http://kellymom.com/ They have solid suggestions for how to introduce food if you want to do baby lead weaning. Which isn’t what everyone wants. Overall for early parenting (especially given what I know of the family) I liked: https://www.akpress.org/mymotherwearscombatboots.html It goes through a lot of the interesting logistics for alternative child rearing that no one else thinks about. Solid book. Lots of it is pregnancy focused so blow past that, but it is worth the price.

      I’m a “attached to the baby 24/7 until they want to be somewhere else” parent though. If the baby isn’t on me they are on another grown up pretty much around the clock. I know that isn’t available to everyone and I’m *sure* there are good books that give advice about other methods. I just didn’t need them.

      Reply

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