Sleep study part the first

That was… fine. Just the initial consult. She said that I have an extremely posterior jaw and a narrow throat opening and that doesn’t bode well. With allll the symptoms I have I am definitely in need of an in office sleep study because they need to check so many factors.

Treatment is likely to have three options. The easiest and most obvious is a cpap. The only trouble is… I’m a fantastically active sleeper. I roll and kick and move all night long. I’m ridiculous. I have no idea how I could manage to stay attached to a damn hose. The second option is a dental appliance that would shove my jaw forward and keep my throat more open. I am so sensitive to all the braces and mouth guards and what have you I’m already supposed to wear that I imagine this is going to be painful. She said it often causes TMJ problems and I said, “I already have TMJ problems.” She winced.

Third option: surgery! There is the possibility they might want to cut hunks of flesh from my throat! DOESN’T THAT SOUND FUN?! And it might be really wise to go back to the orthodontist who wanted to crack my jaw then wire it shut and follow through.

The next few years are going to be really shitty. Maybe we won’t be moving if I’m in the middle of a bunch of medical treatments that really need to be followed through to completion. Fuck.

But how much pain do I want to be in for the next few decades? Sleeping would do a lot to decrease my pain. Just by itself. It is restorative and I don’t get it. That’s a problem. What would it do to my ability to control my mood?

Fuck. I don’t have good choices ahead of me. Can you imagine trying to homeschool two children while trying to care for a baby with your mouth wired shut for three months?

Maybe it’s time to break out the ASL videos and start practicing. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


I’m going to go cry now.

Next this afternoon we get to go meet EC’s possible new shrink. Onwards and upwards.

Please, if anyone upstairs is listening, please let me give my children all the tools they need to survive being in this world as my child. Please.

15 thoughts on “Sleep study part the first

  1. K

    I sleep with a cpap and have for 8 years. Ask for dreamware mask. It is the best one on the market right now. The hose connects to the top of my head so easy to twist and turn over.

  2. Dana

    I use a cpap too, have for about 6 years. You *might* move less with it, if apnea is part of what’s causing lighter sleep.
    They’re a total pain in the ass though and I wish I didn’t need it.

      1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

        I spin like a tornado all night long. I’m definitely not going to stop moving around in my sleep even with the machine. I’m going to try it. I really will. But I’m a lifelong mouth breather so I’ll need a full mask even after the septoplasty.

        1. Dana

          Yeah, I really don’t think it’s likely to help with movement but I’ve heard weirder cpap results.
          I was hoping I’d be one of the “and then I started waking up refreshed every day!” stories when I started but no. I’m just slightly better with than without.

          1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

            I’m at this point where it feels like surgery on every part of my body is necessary before I have a prayer of hope… only I don’t have that high of a chance of surgery improving most of it. Wheeeee

      2. Dana

        I hated the chin strap so very very very much and gave up.
        My cause of apnea seems to be throat muscles that don’t do their job so I guess it make sense that my mouth would open too.

        1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

          The doctor said that her brief observations in the office indicate that the problem is most likely that my jaw relaxes too much and closes my throat when I’m sleeping. The cpap machine won’t fix that.

          1. Dana

            That sounds like what they told me and then gave me the cpap. Which helps. Unless there’s a severe difference I’m missing between jaw and throat. (they said throat to me)
            Fucking drs.

  3. Your submissive

    I saw a thing once that might be relevant and helpful.

    Note that I’m not a doctor and I don’t play one on TV. YMMV. Past performance is not a guarantee of future results. Consult your physician before starting any new treatmemt. Discontinue use if you have an allergic reaction. Call your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than four hours. Disclaimers apply.

    But I leave this here for your consideration…

    1. Dana

      …Now I’m doing a whole assortment of mouth and tongue exercises I found after reading that article. I don’t know if it’ll do any good, but they’re certainly annoying to do.

      1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

        I’m not in a good place to add yet more annoying things that “might help” to my day right now. Not as I am throwing up these fucking pills I have to take.

  4. RoseRed

    I second the suggestion that you might move less if the c-pap helps you sleep deeper. I do.

    Mine has nose pillows. I only open my mouth to breathe when I’m not getting enough air through my tiny pug nasal passages. The positive pressure compresses my nasal membranes better than a decongestant and I get to sleep much better and wake fewer times.

    Hopefully there is a non surgical equivalent for your particular problem that will help you as much as mine helps me.

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