Cause I always have a project. Identify core beliefs and figure out how to change them. This is going to be super woo intensive because therapy hasn’t moved these bitches in 3 decades.
I anticipate this kind of sucking. But maybe the far side will suck less.
I have to figure out how to change this belief that I only exist to absorb pain. I am not a god damn anguisette.
I need to figure out how to frame my story in my head so it doesn’t matter what my father wanted me to be or what he thought I was. I need to stop thinking about what my mother said and believed.
I was not born to be a whore. I did not get married to be a whore.
Maybe Sobonfu was born to carry the stories of her tribe and to be a healer… but that doesn’t mean that the pronouncements made at the birth of every child work out. It worked out for her and that was a really tremendous thing.
I don’t have to care what I was told I was going to be.
And I don’t really know how to change this yet. This is going to be hard.