Today someone I like a lot asked me for advice about how their family can attain a lifestyle more like my family’s lifestyle. I feel like a fucking asshole but the only way I know to do that is be born to rich parents who will fund your Ivy League education with no loans.
Noah is where he is because of the start he got in life. Sure, he worked hard and he made smart choices along the way… but it’s bullshit to say he got here because he worked so hard. There wasn’t a bootstrap in sight.
Sure, he had an almost omniscient prescience to pick the programming language he specializes in. He picked it up when it was brand new and hardly anyone in the world knew it. He gave up his free time and his friends and allllllll kinds of good times with me to specialize in this because he believed this would be his best shot at being the kind of provider he wanted to be in this life. Let me not underestimate the fact that he has worked fucktastically hard on this language. After a lifetime of working hard on a variety of other languages. He did the work to make it through that Ivy League college and lots of people are literally incapable. I don’t want to denigrate that.
But we have this lifestyle because Noah was born to a rich family.
It’s not because we worked harder than other people. It’s because he had advantages and I have the ability to stretch a dollar to cover $40. Because I had to as a child.
Because when I was a child someone handing me $5 could make a huge difference in how I ate that month and I carry these lessons with me. So when I land in the position to manage a rich person’s money… I do pretty damn well.
It has been hard learning how to buy more expensive things less often… but I have learned. Mostly I was just used to buying the cheap shit and duct taping it back together when it broke.
Our lifestyle is insanely luxurious. I’m a god damn stay at home parent and Noah works in the garage. We travel a lot. We eat sooooooo well.
We don’t have everything. We make choices. Our cars are eleven years old and one is dying pretty intensely and we intend to cope with one car for as long as possible when the Prius dies. The minivan looks solid to last five or more years longer and I don’t care that it has dents and scrapes and the side view mirror has broken three times and it shakes when I drive… We don’t have excellent clothing in the main. Noah and I bought an insanely expensive set of outfits next year and we might wear then until we are buried. The kids get around $100 of new clothes in a year and otherwise… I buy used or they get hand me downs. They are in classes but not everything. They don’t get to go do fun activities that cost money constantly because I just refuse. Our entertainment budget hasn’t gone up with our income and I think that’s great.
Instead we hemorrhage money on health care. Wheeeeeeee.
And the bathroom. Ugh. That was twice as fucking expensive as I wanted it to be. Paying that off is going to hurt. When we finish paying off the bathroom we will have paid off about $600k in debt over the course of our marriage between the mortgage, school loans, remodeling, and cars.
Our lifestyle is simply not attainable if you did not get born to wealth. This isn’t because of me. This is Noah’s financial story and I’m just along for the ride; I like narrating.