Category Archives: telling the hours

Perspective is everything

7am: What a glorious, loving day. I’m so glad I’m here.

8am: Weird SMS conversation with a kinda friend/former play partner from the east coast. His phone accidentally merged my account information with someone else who has a similar name. Whoops. It was reiterated that now that I do the mom thing I no longer have “adventures” and my life is boring. He has been going to the same events for the past twenty-five years. The only thing that changes is the identity of the women he is tying up on any given day. They stay the same age. I don’t go to bdsm conferences or pick up casual sex. My life is boring, obviously. In the past five years I have spent a month in Scotland (including some time in England and France), almost three weeks in new Zealand, wrote a book, had two kids, been out of town on some kind of travel more than forty times… I’ve learned to garden. I’ve remodeled my house–mostly while alone with my kids. (I get help on crucial days. I have a whole crew of wonderful friends.) And I’m the boring one? Really? Ok then.

9am: Sitting around talking to K. Anxiety starts creeping in. K’s life is not so smooth as mine. I WANT TO FIX IT. I can’t fix anything. I can feel guilty about making her life harder and not easier. But that is where I am. I’m trying to reduce how much I ask of her. Good grief her life is harder than mine.

10am: Well, shit. At least my father didn’t knock me up as a teenager. I suppose no matter how bad my life was some blessings went past my door without knocking. And my mom isn’t still living with my rapist. That’s something. That’s a big something. I’m even lucky enough to have my dad be dead and I’m the only one in the room and that’s kind of weird because I am by far the youngest.

11am: Please please please can we stop talking about the Pervasive Societal Myth That Most People Who Claim Memories of Incest Had Them Implanted By Some Malicious Person. Yes. I am aware that lots of people think this. I’ve seen this myth running around all by myself. Yes, I’ve already seen and heard such imprecations. So what? What is the point of this elaborate conversation–ah yes. To tell us that despite lots of people saying it we shouldn’t believe it. Here’s a list of out-of-date studies to convince us we shouldn’t believe it. Uhm, there are several much better much more recent studies. Maybe you could update your hand out. I should probably start a bibliography page one of these days.

12pm: Holyfuckingshit what is in your freaking mouth?!?!?!?!! I didn’t phrase it like that. Almost. We need to work on rules about taking things at other peoples houses. Oh man. I would have been screamed at and hit. I did minimal screaming and losing the iPad for one day seems so… stupid. Ugh. And a lecture.

1pm: Oh lunch. Lunch is sooooo awesome right now. I love you both sooooo much while there is a delicious sandwich in my mouth.

2pm: I like sitting. I don’t like the internet. Maybe I should do something else. Wander off.

2:45pm: Oops. I forgot to hit post.