Much to my chagrin I was looking at my calendar today and noticed that the CC Rider class that I was registered for conflicted with 2 classes for school (including the first day) and 2 weekend events that I can’t reschedule. Shit shit shit. k, fine. Called around. Now I’m in another one. September 9, 11, 12. It neatly wraps around my birthday. Happy birthday to me! I will be so fucking tired when I go in for a 7am class after my birthday party, but that is the next possible time for me to do it. I will load up on sleep in advance and just not drink. I will be fine. I function fine on 6 hours as long as I don’t make a habit of it. Now I will only miss one night of class.

It also means no Ren Faire that weekend. but such is life.

“I can’t call you a whore, you don’t have enough self control to be paid for this.”

A first

Intermediate Spanish: MWF 1:30-2:55
Psychological Foundations (something for the credential): M 4-6:45
Methods and Materials of Literature Research: M 7-9:45
Multicultural Foundations: W 4:30-8:15

This means that both Plough and Praynksters are off the list. 🙁 This means I can’t teach MWF unless I do kindergarden, which is far from my favorite. This means that given that SSG is gone, I won’t be dancing much at all!!! I will only have FNW/PEERS/Gaskell’s. Although, Fezziwigs is during this time period. Classes begin August 25 and finals end on December 17.

If I want to go to Pacific Friction I would have to miss a whole set of classes, which would make no one happy. Although, given that I do not ditch lightly, missing a class wouldn’t kill me.

Rough approximation of commitments (for myself)
Mondays: Mornings could be spent on homework. Afternoons/night in class.
Tuesdays: Work? Dates?
Wednesdays: Morning on homework. Afternoon/evening in class. Night… dates?
Thursdays: Work? Dates?
Fridays: homework/housework/class. Dance/dates?

Damn! All this free time! What in the world will I do with myself? Well yes, I will spend lots of time masturbating, but other than that I mean. None of these classes will be labor intensive for homework. I won’t have much reading. There will only be a few papers. It so rocks to have my schedule. The sadists among you might be asking why I don’t add another class if my schedule is such a cake walk. Well, I couldn’t add one one on Mondays or Wednesdays because of scheduling. There are no night classes on Fridays and I absolutely refuse to drive to campus 4-5 days/week. I’m spoiled like that.

The gown: http://northbound.com/Northbound.taf?S=w19&RegId=&bSize=325&_UserReference=CB8257CD4E09BAE140FC93B2

The weekend so far has been… uhm… interesting.

If there is someone on your friends list you would love to have an epic, sweaty, damn near legendary, completely mind-blowing, consciousness-expanding, 12 hour fuckathon with, post this same exact sentence in your journal…

This is the activity that you would pick above all the other lovely things you like right now. I am fully aware that most of us don’t just like one thing! Silly people.

I also feel the need to say that I like my friends and their answers. 🙂

There are two meme’s going on right now that I could be sucker and join in. So I’ll give ya’ll a choice. You can do one, or the other, or both, or neither. 🙂 Whatever tickles your fancy.

If we were alone in a room together right now, what would we be doing?

“This is the problem with LJ, we all think we are so close, and we know nothing about each other. I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don’t know about you.”

Comments will be screened, so feel free to be as graphic as you like. 😉

Responses:
Some yummy suggestions as what to do with me. I knew I liked ya’ll.

Question- How’d you get introduced to the poly/kink/pansexual community, and what made you want to be actively part of it?
Well, that is a multi-part question with different answers! I started doing queer (my version of pansexual) stuff when I was fairly young. I have been fooling around with girls since before puberty so actually being involved with the queer scene as it were started happening around 15. What made me want to be part of it? Uhm.. biology? Girls are hot. Kink started happening for me when I was 18. I actually found out about bdsm because of a chat room. *blush* I was told to read _SM101_ and things snowballed from there. I started going to munches and met my primary at my first party. Being kinky is just part of who I am. I have always wanted kinky stuff even when I didn’t know the words to ask for what I wanted. I am very new to poly actually. I have always had poly friends, but I have only been exploring it as an option since last December. For years there was no one I wanted to be with other than my partner. Then all of a sudden I hit a wall of frustration within my relationship and I stumbled across these feelings for someone I knew… He was so damn cute and hot and many things about him appealed to me on many levels. I wanted him bad. So I asked for permission to date him. Then I asked for permission to have sex with him. Then I said I liked poly and I wanted to do more of it. My partner said, “I just want you to be happy.” Thus my entry into the poly community such as it is. Things with the person I wanted first didn’t quite work as one might hope, but we are good friends and he is still a damn good lay. One that I have been thinking about very fondly for a bit. Hmmmm. Maybe he will be willing to let me have benefits?

So uhm… that crack about needing to teach my class locally? Well… I just exchanged emails with someone…

Save the date folks. Thursday, August 5th I will be teaching Bondage Basics for The Society of Janus.

I think the class will be in the city. I don’t know what time yet. I’ll post more details when I know. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

So much for teaching the class far away from anyone who knows me as a test run… If I do less than spectacularly there will be no disassociating myself! Ah crap. Guess I better do well. 🙂

Sometimes bondage is the point. Sometimes bondage is part of a larger scene. Sometimes bondage is only necessary to encourage someone to stand still while you hit them. All of these different types of bondage are valid and fun. Different ways of incorporating bondage into your scenes, from decoration to basic restraint to sensory deprivation experiences, will be talked about in this class. It will include a survey of various materials that can be used for bondage, safety concerns and tips for negotiating bondage scenes, and advice on where to begin in acquiring bondage gear.

For this entry-level class you do not need a partner. Please bring a short length of rope (10′ or less) in order to practice basic knots. There will be some practice of tying simple single-limb and double-limb lashings, but they can generally be done around your own leg(s).

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lenora is a bouncy, happy, energetic switch who thinks the answer to almost any question should be “yes.” She resides in the bay area and is active in the local scene there. She discovered the scene four years ago and dove into the deep end head first. Bondage and D/s have always been her main interests. She is a firm believer in scenes wherein, “Bondage is the point” and is eager to show others that bdsm does not always have to include hitting. She is a member of the Society of Janus and the Portland Leather Alliance. She has co-taught classes on bondage and suspension for Dragons Keep, Society of Janus, and Thunder in the Mountains.

Take the quiz: “What Is Your Kink?”

Submission
You live to serve! You’re most excited when someone else takes the reins and controls the situation. You’re happy to do whatever will make your partner happy, even if it isn’t your favorite thing to do. In the bedroom, you aim to please. Your motto is, Yes Sir/Ma’am!

Sometimes bondage is the point. Sometimes bondage is part of a larger scene. Sometimes bondage is only necessary to encourage someone to stand still while you hit them. All of these different types of bondage are valid and fun. Different ways of incorporating bondage into your scenes, from decoration to basic restraint to sensory deprivation experiences will be talked about in this class. It will include a survey of various materials that can be used for bondage, safety concerns and tips for negotiating bondage scenes, and advice on where to begin in acquiring bondage gear.

You do not need a partner. Please bring a short length of rope (10′ or less) in order to practice basic knots.

(Uhm…. should I add anything else?)

Lenora is a big slut. She resides in the bay area and is active in the local scene there. She discovered the scene four years ago and dove into the deep end head first. Bondage, along with D/s has always been her primary focus. She is a firm believer in scenes wherein, “Bondage is the point” and is eager to show others that bdsm does not always have to include hitting. She is a member of the Society of Janus and the Portland Leather Alliance. She has co-taught classes on bondage and suspension for Dragons Keep, Society of Janus, and Thunder in the Mountains.

(I would like to point out that I think it is marginally dishonest for me to claim Thunder because my name has never been in the program. However, Tom says that I should put it because I was helping teach the class. Any opinions?)

Number of people on my lj friends list: 84 including four communites

…whom I’ve met in person: 72
…whom I’ve met in person more than once: 69
…whose house I’ve been to: 22 (some of them not the house they are currently living in.)
…who have been to my house: 33
…whose full names I know offhand: 27
…whom I’ve known for more than 3 years: 17
…whom I’ve known for more than 5 years: 4
…whom I’ve known for more than 7 years: 4
…whom I’ve known for more than 9 years: 1
…whose journal I consider myself “addicted” to: I read my friends list obsessively. Is that the same thing?
…whom I’ve lived with: 1–although I practically lived with Lauren’s family during high school.
…who I’d do: 35 (bloody hell I’m a slut.)
…who I’ve snogged: 16

Why can’t I be more vain? I’m trying to write a bio for myself…. I feel like an idiot. I’m looking around for inspiration (aka, who can I copy) and I just don’t seem to be finding the motivation I need. erf. I need more than two sentences, yet I can communicate all I feel I need to in that space! bloody hell.

I have been having a pondering. This time the pondering is about “perfect” and standards for partners. Bear with me as I ramble…

A few years ago I wrote in a post to a local bdsm mailing list talking about how I felt like Tom was trying to push me into a mold to be the partner he wanted. He already owned clothing, shoes, collars… how convenient that they were all my size! It seemed like he had been auditioning people to find someone to fit into his perception of perfect. At the time I wrote fairly extensively about how much that hurt me and I felt devalued because he didn’t love me for my individuality, he wanted just a body to fill his fetish items.

A lot of time has gone by since then though. Do we still own the pairs of shoes he had pre-me? Maybe. I’m not sure. I know we talked about getting rid of them because of how hurt I felt by their very existence. (He passed these shoes through several partners.) But I actually think they are still in a box in a closet somewhere in the house. They stopped being important. I stopped worrying about the “slut of the day collar.” I have been with Tom for 4 years. I have 30+ pairs of shoes, most of which were purchased because he might like them. It makes him smile and it makes him hard for me to wear them–so why not? We have a collection of collars more extensive than any single fetish supplier I have ever seen. Dude, we are really into collars. These days I barely ever wear one. I would be hard pressed to remember the last time I wore a collar. They stopped being significant between us when the M/s went away. Although I have put my foot down about him doing D/s play with other people, he is free to use collars with them, well as long as he uses the collars that pre-date me. He can’t use my collars on anyone else and I would never ever put his collar on someone else. It wouldn’t feel right. So, does this mean I have just “gotten over” feeling upset by his fetishes? Have I *gasp in horror* grown up? Please Lord, say it isn’t so!!!

I have been thinking about this because I spend a lot of time in the car. Berkeley is a bloody long drive on Monday nights! One of the many odd day dreams that has occupied my mind is the concept of a “perfect” partner. Given that I’m trying poly (so far really successfully) I almost feel guilty for trying to imagine “the one,” but hey–I’m human. I have been kind of designing this person in my head using personal ad speak. If I were going to place an ad looking for my perfect partner, what would I ask for? I need someone who can talk. I would like someone who is very handy to have around because I admire that in a person. I want someone who can play and be silly in Disneyland. I want someone who wants to travel with me. I want someone who is really really smart in ways that I am not so that we can share our various areas of expertise and further enrich one another. I need someone who can be Dominant, well… at least in bed. [I’m learning that Dominance elsewhere in my life is not quite as important as I once thought. hm.] I need someone who is patient with me. I need someone who can handle the fact that I wake up in the middle of the night very upset and I need to be coaxed back to sleep sometimes. I need someone who can be my Daddy when I am very upset. I need someone who understands that I like chasing Bright Shiny Things and chasing those things don’t mean that I want to leave or that I won’t come home. I need someone who wants sex! Who wants to initiate sex! Yay sex! (This is a harder requirement than one might think.) I want someone who wants to tie me up! I want someone who wants to beat the snot out of me! (This is a harder requirement than one might think.) I want someone who will dance with me. I want someone who will think I am the greatest thing since sliced bread, oh except when I’m being a dork. But I’m ok then too. I want someone who is confident enough in themself to call me on my shit. I should not be allowed to indulge in my penchance for picking on people. I know I do it, I try not to, I do it anyway sometimes. Someone should love themself enough to stand up to me about it. I will really respect you more for it. I want someone who wants to go to bdsm conferences with me and show off. I want someone who wants to dress me up and have me look pretty. I want…

Hey wait. So far I am describing an amalgamation of Tom and Noah and DA. hm. Maybe I should stick with poly.

Does this mean that I am bad though? That I have ideals that I want people to live up to? Am I being controling? Am I just trying to fit a body into being what I want instead of liking the person for who they are? Or have my ideals come about because of liking the people I have in my life? I’m not sure how marriage and kids will fit into this though. I’m kind of scared to think about it. Deliberate community is a concept I’m thinking about more and more. It is tweaking my neurons. Let me tell you, 5 years ago I would never have believed I would be interested in this crazy hippy shit. oy.

We are going to:

Capitol Drive-in
Capitol Expressway& Snell Avenue, San Jose, CA 95136 (408)2262251

We are seeing:
King Arthur – 9:00 PM
Around the World in 80 Days – 11:35 PM

I think people should join us. *nod* Call me if you want to!