Category Archives: Uncategorized

Housewarming update (thank you to the people who emailed me)

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I am a schmuck and I have announced nothing. So please consider this your invitation to our housewarming. 🙂

It will be happening on Saturday, July 30th. This event will be CHILD FRIENDLY from 1-3 pm. This means that language and discussion topics are required to be G rated. Please keep this in mind when planning your arrival time. From 3-6 we should probably try for PG-13. From 6-10 things can be up to R rated. 🙂 Although I don’t have a hot tub so I doubt anyone will really feel the need to take their clothing off.

Disclaimer: I am rating the party this way because I am inviting an interesting cross section of people in my life. I expect you to make the choice about what level of behaviour YOU will be comfortable with. If you think anyone is exceeding the current rating, please let me know and I will bring the smack down. 🙂 (Although all of my friends are awesome people and very respectful. I significantly doubt there will be a problem.

There will be some munchies and drinks, but you probably shouldn’t show up expecting to find meal-worthy food. That whole grad student budget thing. 🙂 If anyone would like to bring food, please…. feel free. 🙂 But I really don’t expect it or require it.

If anyone is around at 10 the volume has to go way down (neighbors with young children) and maybe we can turn on a movie or something. 🙂

I hope to see you here. 🙂

Ping me for directions. 🙂

culture shock

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Ok. Well. His dad seems to be talking to me this morning, but after hanging back and watching his family interact at breakfast… that may be a bad thing.

Wow are they violent and hostile. You know how people think I am abrasive? I am an infant in the world of hostility. Good grief. Maybe I am just totally misunderstanding their behavior and they only hate me as much as they hate everyone in the whole world.

It still hurts my feelings. But maybe I can stop crying.

The wedding…

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Yeah, the wedding wasn’t easy. First off was the fact that I didn’t eat enough early in the day and we had to arrive at 4:15 for a 6:30 wedding. (They were doing pictures first and really we didn’t need to be there till 5, but apparently Puppy’s father is always so fucking late that they lied to him about arrival time and he showed up on time for once.) Dinner wasn’t until almost 8. It was blazingly hot and I felt horrible. The ceremony itself was really sweet. It went longer than anyone was happy about (heat, humidity, constant threat of thunder storms…) but I liked the whole thing and found a lot of beauty in seeing the meshing of the cultures. The vows were awesome, “I promise to clean up my dishes in a timely fashion and laugh at your jokes…” “I promise to let you sleep in on the weekends and tell you I love you every night before bed and at other spontaneous times…” The two people getting married seem like they could be cool, not that I will ever get to know them. The groom looked freaked out the whole time and I wasn’t sure what was up with that. Probably part of it was that he had on a tux and then the kittel? over it (which is a robe thing that he will keep and wear throughout his life for ceremonial stuff). He was sweating buckets.

I sat by myself in front of this young couple (they are both English teachers) who were making dirty comments before the ceremony. Girl: “I am so sticky and wet.” Guy: “Cool!” She blushed three shades of red; it was very charming.

I felt really on the outside; I didn’t really know anyone and that felt awkward. His father has basically stopped acknowledging my presence and that is a problem.

During the reception Puppy and I talked about taking his younger brothers and the two elderly infirm men in the family home so that the others could stay and enjoy the party. When Puppy suggested this to his dad he was told no because his strength was needed to load up the vehicle later so he couldn’t go. He said I could go home with the nasty aunt and crew instead. I didn’t do this though. Instead I threw a temper tantrum (well, I told Puppy in a very unhappy voice, “Oh that sounds fun” and got up and left the table and wandered off into the woods) and spent almost an hour by myself. Puppy eventually found me while I was on the phone with Japlady and we talked about the shit that was going on. I took her advice and told him about how his family has been treating me. He told me that I am misinterpreting, that there is no way they are actually treating me that way and he wishes that he could help me fix the part of me that is broken and sees insult in everything. I let the situation go and he and I actually had a lot of fun together at the wedding.
We spent most of our time wandering in the woods and we had sex and several blow jobs and I took my clothes off and he dumped water on me (dear god was that good) and we talked and kissed and played. Eventually we danced to the band and had cake and between the two of us we had a lot of fun. (We did the polka and West coast swing and east coast swing and cross-step waltz–he is massively improving.)
When the party was finally winding down his dad made a number of really nasty comments about, “I don’t know how I am going to load everything in with three people… This is so much harder than it has to be…” Really he was being an asshole. I almost suggested that I go home with the step-mom because she was alone in her car and didn’t have much of anything in it. But I didn’t, and there was a huge amount of empty space in the SUV anyway so he was just being a dick. On the ride home he completely ignored every single thing I said. I felt really shitty. When we got home and crawled into bed Puppy told me that I was right about how his dad was treating me and he has no idea what is motivating it. They are spending the day together today because I am going to go spend the day in DC by myself (anything to get away from this treatment) and Puppy said he is going to ask his dad about it because it isn’t ok. I don’t really want to cause strife between them, but I also don’t appreciate being treated this way.

I feel like I don’t know what to do. Puppy has been basically pleading with me since the day we got here to respond naturally and actually say the things I would normally say because he believes that is the only way his family will respect me. I have been doing so and now his father (and the step-mom stopped speaking to me as well by late last night) is treating me like a pariah. I don’t get to leave for five more days and I am going to be spending two of them in an RV with the whole fucking family. This seems like a recipe for disaster to me. *sigh* I just want to cry.

Dangerous

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Too much wine = me saying things that I normally would filter out. Things like when the conversation about where are you from: California. No, where are you from? I am an 8th generation Californian. Oh! Wow! How did your family get there so early? Are you Spanish? Well, there were five generations of prostitutes and it is easy for that kind of woman to get around. *blink* (The uncle actually said that it is a shame our family got out of it because that is an excellent profession. I burst out laughing.)

His aunt criticized my table manners (I took a bite too early during the third course) and I said, “So what?” and kept eating.

When asked about where I grew up I said that we didn’t really live anywhere very long. Military? Naw–my mom’s a flake. Gun shots a few weeks ago near our current house? That’s nothing. When I lived in Compton we had actual murders in front of our home fairly regularly.

Teenage boy threatening to hurt me? Go ahead kid. I learned how to fight with numerous gangbangers coming after me–I will probably make you very sorry you started anything. (He was playing and this whole exchange was light and funny. But he backed off on it.)

I don’t think either younger brother will ever say, “*scoff* That’s so queer” in front of me again. I ripped them a new one up one side and down the other.

I made I think multiple references (when appropriate, I don’t just bring it up out of the blue) to living in trailers/ghettos/the projects/the car…. Yeah. I don’t think they will ever suspect me of being of their social class. I can’t compete with them and I’m better off not trying.

I always feel out of my element in situations with a large number of people who are living on inherited money. It just feels wrong to me. I have nothing in common with these people and furthermore… I don’t want to have anything in common with them. It’s a bias I should work on because I am being just as bad or worse of a bigot.

But yeah. I sure uhhhhh didn’t play nice last night. His uncle and I got along famously. 🙂 His aunt looked pissed off. Puppy and I weren’t supposed to do any PDA’s because it would take away from the specialness of the day for the bride and groom. ?!?!?! ok…

Yes Virginia… I normally do have a filter on what I say…. Muahahaha

Oh. And the twin beds? They are now pushed together.

Ok, ok. I’ll play nice

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I will spend a few minutes saying stuff that isn’t nasty.

No one here is really that bad. His dad is a lot like him and therefore funny (though he would be more funny if he wasn’t mumbling and I could hear him) and the step-mother is very nice and the mom is certainly polite enough. In his dad’s house they are running around trying to prep for a wedding and so they aren’t going to slow down to talk to some random chick who happens to be in their house. His mom doesn’t get out much (she has few friends and telecommutes) so frankly, I’m not shocked that her conversation skills aren’t that developed past politics (her passion).

As was pointed out today I’m not just worrying about whether or not they like me. I am wondering if I am willing to put up with these people for a good many years and deal with them through holidays and have them be part of my childrens’ family and therefore mine. I really don’t know yet.

A lot of my shit and pissiness comes from a few distinct points: namely that I am exhausted, over-tired, and I haven’t been able to eat anything that feels “right” since I got here probably mostly owing to the heat. I’m really not at my best or most patient right now anyway and that has nothing to do with them. They all seem like decent people but it will take some warming up. That’s ok. From what Puppy tells me (his words, not mine) his aunt is going to be a raging bitch and I just need to pretend she isn’t around and I should thank my lucky stars that his grandmother is dead. He actually said that. Apparently she didn’t like anyone who had the temerity to marry one of her boys. No one could ever be good enough and she went out of her way to make the poor womens’ lives miserable. Good to know. (Insert singing of “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” here.)

Yeah. So they aren’t really that bad. They are just quirky in the way that families are. Tonight we are pushing the twin beds together and not making a fuss over it. I figure that I am still new so they have no reason to really think I am going to last yet. (Well, other than the fact that if he likes someone for more than two months he tends to marry them.) So here I sit, by myself. Reading and wanting to poke you bastards for not talking more on YIM or AIM. I hates you all.

And now… the mom

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So his mother is very different than his father.

She has three broken records. Bush and his entire administration is from Satan. Her health issues (I got really disgusted by the constant conversation about her gas). And Puppy’s father is the anti-Christ.

Yeah. She can’t talk about anything else for more than 45 seconds. And I don’t know how her animals survive. I would think they died rapidly from over feeding. She gave the fucking cat four cans of wet food in the day I was there and there was a bowl of dry out. Good God. And she thinks that Puppy’s shit doesn’t stink. I almost broke in on her to announce that really–he isn’t God’s gift to the planet. He is really awesome and all, but he is just human.

At least we had a queen sized bed. And good sex. And I finally slept. Huzzah!

Sarah darling, when you pick us up from the airport I will probably jump all over you because I am so excited to see you.

In other news. We went to the Holocaust museum. It was very disturbing and sobering. I feel like most of my life is very shallow and vapid. See the rest of this journal entry. I am still processing the experience in the back of my brain.

travel

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So his dad seems to like me. For the oh… hour he has been in my presence. He and Puppy spent the day in the RV working on a door apparently. *sigh*

I spent the day inside with his step-cousin who is maid of honor for the wedding happening this weekend. I don’t like her much. She is a total fucking hypocrite. And someone who starts telling me how I should behave and treat people when they met me oh… two hours before… rapidly hits my shit list. Bitch.

I read The Magician’s Nephew today. I still like it. I think the rest of the series is going to go really fast.

Oh!

Question

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Would you spread rumors about people that you didn’t like?

Hmmm. Interesting question. First off, let’s define rumor. I think of rumors as unsubstantiated information. If I ever repeat unsubstantiated information I do it with great caution and I do it proclaiming loudly and frequently that it is information that I have not verified. In general I try to only repeat things that I have asked the person in question about.

That said, do I repeat information that I have checked out? Depends on the information. I am not a malicious person and I don’t want to hurt anyone. There are times when I feel that it is someone’s best interests to know a piece of information, and then I repeat it. I don’t break confidentiality though. If someone ever asks me not to repeat something then I simply won’t. If I feel a situation is important enough then I will say to a third party that there is information that I cannot repeat but I am worried about them for a reason.

Do I gossip generally though? Oh hell yes. I am a major people person and I love hearing more about people in general and I will listen to as many stories as I can. When I am sharing information I try to repeat something with the tone with which it was shared with me or to make it more neutral or more positive. I have been slammed a lot in my lifetime and I try to avoid doing it.

I think that quite often people do things that they don’t want repeated and then get angry when it is repeated. I also know that I am willing to cop to the fact that I talk about people and so I am a convenient target for people to be angry at when information is circulated. I am far from the worst gossip I know. And I do not repeat truly negative information unless I either was the recipient of it myself or I have verified it with the person who did it. Once I know that I understand as close to the truth as I can understand then… yeah. Character and esteem are how people are judged in this world and particularly in the communities I run in. I give honest evaluations. That means they aren’t always positive.

More memeage

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I know that there are some weird questions out there for me. I just wonder if people will actually ask them

Ask a question anonymously you wouldn’t necessarily ask in person, or wouldn’t want others to know you’re asking. I’ll answer it in another entry, and you’ll have your answer without having to admit you wanted to know it.

Remember to post anonymously! I’ve allowed anonymous posting and turned off IP address tracking for the time being. I’ve screened the comments.

I declare this meme day!

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1. Go to my userinfo page.

2. Pick one person on my friends list you’re curious about.

3. Comment with their username.

4. And I will tell all about them (I reserve the right to determine what constitutes “tell all about them”).

5. Now post this in your journal, see who is curious about whom.

memage

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“I know very little about some of the people on my friends list. Some people I know relatively well. I read your fic, or we have something else in common and we chat occasionally. Some of you I hardly know at all. Perhaps you lurk, for whatever reason. But you friended me and I thank you.

But here’s a thought: why not take this opportunity to tell me a little something about yourself. Any old thing at all. Just so the next time I see your name I can say: “Ah, there’s so and so…she likes office pr0n supplies.”

I’d love it if every single person who friended me would do this. Yes, even you people who I know really well. Then post this in your own journal.”

With thanks to Miss barelyproper who should join: hairbraiding 🙂

A proposition…

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Not a dirty one.

I will be starting a Spanish class at the end of the summer and it will last all fall. My goal is to take the language exam during the spring semester and never have to take the final fourth semester of college level Spanish. The only way I can do this is if I get a messload of practice speaking Spanish and my fluency increases at a pretty drastic rate. I have many friends who are/have been fluent and I am hoping that I can specifically schedule multiple times per week in which I need to speak Spanish in order to increase my vocabulary and confidence in speaking. In the past I have gotten to the point where within my somewhat limited vocabulary I could speak fairly rapidly and easily but I am nowhere near that at this point. I would strongly prefer getting out of taking the second class due to time and money constraints.

Help?

yay!!!!!!!!

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I got to go to a munch yesterday and see cool people and meet new cool people. I got to go to a party last night and see many of my wonderful friends. I got beaten last night and have the marks to prove it. I had wonderful, yummy sex last night after being beaten. I got to be very admired in my corset last night.

Haaaaaaaaappy girl.