Well. I played safely. I played a looooooooooooooot. I don’t know who I am coming back to. I guess that means it is time to tell stories. Heh. I do love that part.

Ok. This is going on my tightest filter, so whereas normally if people talk about what I post with whoever else is on my friends-list it isn’t a big deal… this time… not many are seeing it. So for once…. yeah. Please don’t broadcast. 🙂

I engaged in some interesting behavior this weekend. I was even more out there than I normally am. Friday night was not out there really, I went to the Citadel. The highlight of the night was when a friend was getting ready to beat me and she wanted me to take my clothes off. There was a row of like six people just standing there watching the scene. She told them to turn around so I could get undressed, I was faking modesty, and they all did it!!!! I about died laughing!!!!!!!

Fabulous. I also got to suspend my best friend for the first time. That was cool. I’m glad we finally shared that.

Saturday… I got stuff done at home then I went off to an e party. This was a small party at a friend’s house. I am going to work like crazy not to give identifying information, but that is hard! (If I say anything too obvious please yell at me and I will edit.)

The party started off with some house cleaning and food prep. It felt good to be creating space for the event and I felt like I was more than just a guest. I liked that. When we were all ready to get started we sat in the living room in a circle. We discussed rules of the house, it is always wonderful to be clear on these things! Then I passed around some Magnessium (helps with jaw clenching) and we got to roll. As things were getting started we played a name game. I still feel like there are 6 people who went (out of 14) that I barely know. I do know their names of course… but I don’t know them. I didn’t talk to them. S’ok. I actually didn’t spend the night quite how I expected to. There was a couple I expected to play with a lot that I didn’t play with at all. There was another couple that I expected to sort of, kind of play with that I not only played with for most of the party, I followed them home the next day! (More on this later)

I actually spent a huge chunk of the night sitting in a bedroom with one person. He was looking at porn (a fine and noble task I say) so I picked up my laptop and showed him bunches of naked pictures of me and I read him some of the stories I have read about things I have done. This was a fantastical ubercool way to spend a bunch of the night. (I wandered in and out.) I had a serious case of short attention span this time. It was ok though. I had a tremendous amount of sex. I was told it was hours and hours worth. 😀 Yay. All I know is I felt physically GOOD all night long. I didn’t have jaw issues. I got a little bit of the scratchies, but not as much as I have in the past. I didn’t get into conversations much. Other people were being chatty and doing the soul-revealing thing. I just wasn’t there. I didn’t want to talk. It was like my brain wanted to be disconnected. Somehow the reading felt different. I wasn’t having to connect with myself in the moment. I have been doing a lot of introspection lately and I was really happy to take a break from that.

Side note- I have been ‘big’ all weekend. I haven’t once felt any inclination to go little. Well, I did have a sippie cup at the party, but that was more about an oral fixation than about being little. I noticed this as I drove home this morning. I haven’t felt big for this long in I couldn’t tell you when. I have no idea what triggered it. Anyway. More story.

I really enjoyed the party. I liked touching and being touched. I enjoyed the playing with the couple. I fell asleep before the party wound down (big shocker there) so this of course means that I woke up long before anyone else. Even I hate being such an insane morning person sometimes. I got up to go out to the hot tub so that I wouldn’t bug other people in the house too much. The man I had spent most of the night playing with was up. He asked if he could follow me out to the hot tub and of course I agreed. 🙂 This lead to more yummy playing. With the sun coming up. It was breathtaking. Hell yeah. Gotta do that again some day.

Eventually we got out and I tried to snuggle but I was too antsy. People started rousing and I spent some time talking a little with one of the most amazing women I know. I was really happy to have time with her. We decided that it was time to start breakfast. I ran off to the market and amused a group of elderly people on the way back. *shrug* It’s not my fault that they don’t understand about the blue world.

Breakfast took a while to totally produce, but that was way ok. We were all…. a bit… slow… Snuggling and cuddles took place for the whole morning and into the afternoon. I finally left to follow the couple home. I stopped by my house first because I thought clean clothes and a shower were a very good idea.

I got to their house feeling somewhat apprehensive. I felt like I had been invited by the husband and not by the wife. That is a very hard thing for me. I had one situation some months ago where my behavior caused pain to someone’s partner and I’ve been feeling really gun-shy about such things since. It turned out remarkably well though. Wow. We did nitrous and pot for uhhhh a long time. I have no idea how long really. And we had sex and sex and sex and sex. It was rather remarkable to me that they were functional enough to keep up the supply. I sure as hell wasn’t. Eventually they really hit my max capacity of substance usage. I curled up and went *poof* Dragging me downstairs for food was hard. I couldn’t believe how functional they were.

Then I passed out. Hard. I got lots of sleep again! Yay. I woke up this morning and talked with their daughter for a while. That was surreal for me. I had some mixed emotions about the situation, but it was ok. She is amazingly bright, and talkative, and social. I was incredibly impressed. I went back upstairs after an hour or so and climbed back into bed with them. The snuggling rocked. Of course more sex happened. I enjoyed that talking that finally started to happen. Eventually the lovely lady asked for some alone time with her husband and I scooted out. It was really good. I was delighted that she asked. It means that I will feel more comfortable next time because I will trust her to let me know when she is ready for me to leave. I’m always terrified of over-staying my welcome and I often leave things early because I don’t want to overstay. I think I miss out on a lot of good bonding time because I’m afraid of pushing. 🙁

Anywho. Very fabulous. I am a happy happy girl. Now I need to hop in the shower, get dressed and have lunch with a hot boy. Then I will help clean house. Then I will maybe come clean my own room. (HA!) Then I am heading over to see James and go to Plough and Death Guild. Wow. There are too many things to do!!!

I can’t say my life sucks. Cause it really doesn’t. That adrenaline rush of “ooooh attention!!!” has been kind of fading. It got a gnarly slap in the ass this weekend. I think I’m ok coasting for a bit again. Now it just comes down to scheduling.
“Love is limitless, time is not.”