http://www.b4udrink.org/ is a website that will let you play with how different alcoholic beverages hit your blood stream and how long it takes to go away.
I’m comforted to know that I can have three margaritas in an hour and not be illegal to drive. Uhm, not that I have ever had three margaritas in an hour. And I wouldn’t drive for a long time with any three alcoholic drinks in an hour.
Well, when I went to the door today for the UPS man I knew it was something from Noah’s family because they can’t fucking spell my name. When I open the package what do I find?
A god damn silver spoon.
I’m serious.
From Tiffany’s even. It’s engraved with her name. I…
I just need to talk to people who share my interests. Someone who will not be annoyed at my incessant conversations about All Things Baby. Luckily, I have an angelkatharine and she is quite thrilled to hear my baby-related babble. It’s great!
Yesterday was an errand-running day and she came with me! I went to Ikea to find picture frames (I actually like the super cheap ‘clips’ ones) and to restock on candles. I had a great time discussing decorating choices in the display rooms. Noah isn’t interested in doing that with me. 🙂 Then we went to Target for non-stick skillets which will allow Noah to make me breakfast with greater ease. 🙂 I found some clothes and I am quite thrilled about this. Lately I’ve been wearing two pairs of low-rise maternity pants and about five shirts over and over because other stuff isn’t fitting. Oh sure, I can keep wearing the generic stretch pants I had for maternity, but they wear out and aren’t real flattering. I really want to put maternity clothes away so that they aren’t worn out the next time I get pregnant. This is complicated by the fact that while yes, I now have jeans (w00t!) I had just uhm expanded into this size before getting pregnant so I have very little clothing in size 14. Noah is challenging to live with if you want to not gain weight. I apparently can’t stay thin. All of my size 14 stuff is work clothing and I don’t really want to lounge around the house that way.
So new clothes! Yay! I also have the new constraint of nursing accessibility. Whereas I don’t have a problem with raising up the bottom of my shirt (I don’t care who sees my stretch marks) it is a lot easier to have boob access from higher up. Raising a t-shirt in the wraps is kind of a pain then we get all sweaty together and I don’t like that feeling. So yay for shirts that lower for boob access. I also found some cute jammies cause I don’t really have any. I mostly have nightgowns and nothing is more fucking pointless than having to raise the bottom of a nightgown from your knees to above your boob for nursing. (Ok, there are probably more pointless things…) So now I have two-pieces and I’m happy. I also found two dresses that are nursing compatible. One is even cute and not black so I can wear it to the wedding next month. (It’s grey, but I’ll take that as good enough.)
And Noah got nearly drunk last night. It was very amusing. 🙂
Much celebration is felt. And now I sit very still and pray that the munchkin goes to sleep soon for a really long nap cause she was up longer than is strictly speaking awesome yesterday.
I can wear my jeans!!! Holy shit!
I guess all the crunches are paying off more than I thought. I’m not dropping weight, but maybe I’m gaining muscle. I’ll deal with that. w00t!
I was dreading going and buying a bigger size…
We have an enormously chubby chin.
And chubby thighs.
A yawn that will allow her to eat your head. Nomnomnom
Still trying to get that smile…
Yesterday I had some really intense feelings of anger/frustration. They happened mostly because I was tired.
So, Noah and I did a bunch of running around and errands for most of the day. By about four when we got home all three of us were tired. I wandered back to the bedroom and laid down with the munchkin. She wasn’t ready to admit defeat and sleep though. She has been kicking me a lot when she isn’t in the mood to be in the bed. I started to feel angry and put upon at this. I called to Noah a couple of times and he didn’t answer. So I went out to the living room and he was asleep. Instantly I felt enraged. I wanted to drop the baby on him and tell him to deal with her for a while. I wanted to grab something and throw it at him (not anything that would hurt him…like a pillow…).
But I didn’t. Instead I went back to the bedroom and laid down with Shanna and felt very sorry for myself that I didn’t get to have a break and he did. I decided that I didn’t like how I was feeling so I started trying to reframe. Shanna will only be this young and attached to me for a relatively short period of time. Right now it feels like forever but it really won’t be. At some point in the future she will prefer Noah and that will hurt my feelings too. I thought about how even if I did wake Noah up he probably wouldn’t be able to keep her settled for very long because she just doesn’t with him so I would be woken up again not long after going to sleep anyway.
So I held her in a position that is annoying for me, but she loves. She cuddled up and started nursing and quickly fell asleep. I curled around her and slept pretty well for three hours. I woke up feeling physically better and really happy that I didn’t do anything I would regret. I had my feelings and I moderated my behavior too.
I feel rather disgustingly proud of myself. 🙂
It’s true!!!!!!!
I ended up with more produce than I know what to do with. (Much thanks to angelkatharine and polkamadness and I suppose by extension ef2p and cortneyofeden.)
So, would anyone like to come over to dinner tonight? I’m not sure what I will cook yet because it will depend on if there is one person coming or more.
I appreciate that I have a brilliant husband who pays a tremendous amount of attention to me without assigning negative judgment to what he sees. He can help me figure out my motivations because he doesn’t hand me any of his own baggage in the conversation. There are no sly innuendos in the conversations.
He knows me better than anyone in the world ever has or ever will. Yet he doesn’t give me advice until I ask for it because he respects me. Can anything get better than that?
Tomorrow I am going to drop Noah off at work. That will put me in Sunnyvale early in the morning. Thus far I have no plans for how I am going to spend the day. I am open to lunch. I am open to hanging out. I think that bouncing around in the car as little as possible is best for Shanna, but otherwise please feel free to suggest something.
I have several friends who have had wonderful experiences with Landmark Forums. I have seen increased happiness and it is a wonderful thing. This website thinks that Landmark is a cult. I don’t have a solid opinion. Mostly I am struck by the similarity between how Landmark and Everytown seem to effect most people. I’m willing to bet that I would feel the same way about Landmark as I did about Everytown.
Apparently Landmark has tried to sue people who link to the video above. Very interesting.
In the past few weeks the following fruits and vegetables have been eaten (by me) in my household:
potatoes
tomatoes
lettuce (of three or four varieties)
carrots
leeks
celery
cucumber
brussel sprouts
eggplant
corn
broccoli
green beans
avacado
spinach
strawberries
grapes
blackberries
blueberries
raspberries
pluots
watermelon
plums
and Noah says parsley counts.
Holy shit. I think that is more variety of fruits and veggies than I normally eat in a year. No really–I’m not a vegetable person. w00t!
Don’t burn your nipple. Especially don’t burn your nipple while you are breastfeeding.
I hurt.
My daughter is going to be one to fight sleep. If there is anything even vaguely interesting going on she just doesn’t sleep and then she gets crankier and crankier. She hates the car.
But when I just stop. When I take away all stimulus she sleeps and sleeps and sleeps. She was awake as long as Noah was home today and bustling, then she passed out when everything got still. She woke up when I changed her diaper an hour ago and then went right back to sleep.
Well, I suppose she is communicating her needs in life pretty clearly. Too bad they sorta suck for me.
Well, the in-laws responded. To Noah and not me. And they all want the feet picture, which we got one copy of.
I think I quit.
Advice. I often/usually hate getting it. I love giving it. I think most people have some advice they would like to give to someone. Maybe to a family member, maybe to a friend, maybe to yourself. I think it would be neat to provide this opportunity to give advice. You can leave the advice here or post it in your own journal. You can comment anonymously or leave your name. The advice can be for me or for anyone else. You can give context or not as you see fit. 🙂
-I went up and saw my family yesterday. It was extremely low stress. My aunt is kind of afraid of me in weird ways. I’m never sure how to handle it.
-I restated for my niece and nephew that I will pay for college. I think my nephew will take me up on it. I’m glad.
-I also apologized to my nephew for being such a shitty aunt. I need to try harder in both of their directions.
-Shanna doesn’t seem to like anyone else holding her. She cries pretty quickly. This isn’t awesome.
-Other people reread my archives so I started looking too. This December I will have known Ms. Pandora for five years. I think that will deserve some recognition.
-We do a lot of laundry.
-I’m noticing more and more how happy I am that I get to stay with Shanna.
-People on MDC (the mothering website I’ve been reading–you people don’t post enough) are really fucking weird.
-If we want to try for the spacing of kidlets we are talking about I have some work to do. Oy. It’s going to be extra challenging with the munchkin.
Ten things I am grateful for:
1. The BABY swing that was lent to us. Shanna is currently napping in it and I got all the vegetable chopping done way faster than anticipated as a result. 😀
2. Butterscotch scotch ice cream topping. We finished the bottle last night. It is frighteningly good.
3. Five hours of consecutive sleep.
4. Today, and every day, Noah. That he exists. Specifically lately cause he has been making me awesome breakfasts for weeks now. 🙂
5. Improving communications with my family. There is a lot of healing going on there.
6. That I have gotten to spend so much one on one time lately with really awesome people. For all of my fuss, I have some incredible friends.
7. That I am happy and healthy. I understand that these things are not to be taken for granted.
8. Air conditioning.
9. Being on-the-ball enough to menu plan for this whole week in advance and actually get around to cooking everything planned so far. 🙂
10. That my walls are such rockin’ colors. A few people have expressed surprise that I would paint them such deep dark colors but they make me happy every day. I’m so glad I did!
11. *cough* Oh yeah… my daughter. 🙂 Her smiles are making my life better and better.
So I keep sending out notices of new pictures to family members who aren’t subjected to lj. It seems polite. I’m even sending them to Noah’s parents despite our less than cordial relationship. In this last one I specifically asked them to tell me which pictures they would like to be sent and I asked for the snail mail addresses of relatives that might like to receive pictures. I think I am being bloody good.
I can’t help but wonder if they will bother to acknowledge my questions. I feel so cynical on this topic. His dad might be cool, but I don’t know that his mom will. I guess I’ll find out…
We went and got pictures taken last weekend. Here are the proofs for those who are interested.
More pics here: http://pics.livejournal.com/rightkindofme/gallery/0000c4gt?page=2
