I didn’t have talks with every period, but I did have chats with the last two of the day. I opened with, “So what is up with this sexist crap?” They generally looked a little surprised at that opener, but my goal was to get them out of the normal box they live in. We talked about why they think boys can’t/shouldn’t wear skirts or dresses. We talked about how girls shouldn’t be aggressive and can only be sexual in a passive sort of way. We talked about how the boys who dressed as girls liked the excuse to shake their asses and thrust their ‘boobs’ at everyone–is that really how girls are viewed? We talked about how the girls who dressed as boys spent their time sexually harassing people and grabbing their crotches–is that really how boys are viewed?

The conversations were pretty interesting and good. The kids surprised me a couple of times in trying to have a more open mind. The comment was made more than once, “But this is just how things are and we can’t change that.” When I asked them why not they said that one person doesn’t have enough effect. I asked them how many kids are sitting in the classroom and then had them multiply the number by five and said, “I influence that many people every day. If you all go out and influence five people each… think about it.”

It was pretty good. One class went off on a digression about what our society finds attractive in men or in women and the conversation was really interesting as they were able to actually talk about what is broken about society’s fixation on looks. I was *very* happy with the people who expressed appreciation for bigger chicks (why was it the black lesbian who lead the charge on that one?) and then the rest of the class tried to claim that they are more interested in personality than looks. They were a bit chagrined when I called them liars. Then they started really talking about the fact that they are elitest about looks. It’s not like I can change the world in a day of lecturing my kidlets, but I bet they will remember this.

Oh, and the boys of 6th period have been issued a challenge to wear a skirt for an hour sometime in the next two weeks. I said they can do it at home when no one is around, but seriously–just try it. It is very comfortable and why should you completely deny yourself the right or ability to be comfortable? One class also asked questions about people who are transgendered. We were out of time so I didn’t get to discuss it, but I think I may try to bring it up soon…

It’s interesting. I do have some interesting thoughts about how much influence I have. It surprises me when I think about it.

24 parents called today in preparation for Saturday’s essay writing bonanza. Time to go home.

One of my babies passed a note under the door to a neighboring class yesterday with the word, “faggot” on it while I was absent. The teacher was very upset and the grapevine let me know this morning.

When this period started I was not my usual cheerful, enthusiastic self (despite my journal’s appearance I am normally incredibly upbeat at work). Instead I had everyone sit down and I told them that I had heard about the note and I am very upset. I said I was about to tell them more about me than I think they usually need to know, but in this case it seems very relevant.

I told them that I have dated girls very seriously. I told them that I have been active in gay rights movements since my early teenage years. I told them that many, if not most, of my friends are gay. I told them that their inadvertant behavior can be very hurtful and mean. I told them that I spend a lot of time bragging about my wonderful kids and telling lots of people how proud I am of them, and I am really hurt that I can’t do that right now.

I told them that basic human respect is something that everyone deserves. That picking on someone for their sexual orientation is just as horrible as picking on someone for their race, or religion, or gender. It’s just wrong no matter how you slice it.

I told them that I know they are teenagers and therefor very self-centered and that it is ok to be self-centered most of the time–it’s the age they are and that’s fine. But they need to start thinking past themselves and recognizing the far reaching effects their actions have. It’s also ok to make mistakes sometimes and say something rude or hurtful on accident–everyone does. What makes them the good and wonderful people that I am so proud of is the ability to recognize when you mess up and apologize for it and try not to do it again.

I also told them that the class next door where the note was sent is a freshman class. My kids are juniors and they are very much examples of behavior for the younger kids. I explained that if my juniors show intolerance as being acceptable that the younger kids will be just a little bit further towards being uncaring of the people around them.

The boy who wrote the note is visibly upset and writing an apology letter. He will be reading the apology letter to the class next door at the end of the period. He almost cried when he told me he was sorry for letting me down. He’s really not a bad kid and I assured him that I won’t like him any less for this and I won’t be mean. But I do need him to show that he understands what the grown up thing to do is. And he’s doing it, with a little encouragement of course… but lots of teenagers refuse. And the letter he is writing is very thoughtful and considerate and sweet. I’m proud of him.