Tag Archives: begging

Dear Universe,

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I haven’t had to come to you in a while, hat in hand to beg your favor. I need some kind of personal assistant/housekeeper/bossy person with great organization skills who can visit with me for a number of hours in a week. I don’t need them to do much other than be there to force me to work. If they want to help with pieces, cool, but it’s not the main point of the job. The point of the job is to keep me on task.

I am not struggling to get through the list of tasks for the kids. That’s the easy part. I can do that in my sleep. I can make sure food is on the table. I can get most of my shit done.

I am struggling with the load of paperwork that is now mine. I need to get paperwork dealt with on a lot of different levels. It freaks me out and I shut down and then I can’t do it. This is where Noah and I traded off who did what based on when our brains shut down. I feel like, literally, the place where I am failing is with executive functioning to do the adult bureaucratic stuff.

I never took the SATs. I never took any kind of exam for grad school. I simply showed up and they let me in for both undergraduate and graduate school. I have skipped a lot of steps in life. I ignored them like they were irrelevant and magically I did ok until I didn’t. I am still hella salty that I was too poor to get disability accommodations and that’s why I don’t have a graduate degree. Oh well.

Once again I act like qualifications are irrelevant and, by and large, they turn out to be. I am not sure how to deal with the stuff I can’t side step. It’s not that I need someone to do it for me. I need someone to be my audience so I’m not allowed to freak out.

I feel bad about this. I am more functional, for some things, if I am being watched. I won’t ask the kids for this. It’s awful. I come out to the studio intending to work on it and instead I find I have now finished Sandokan. It was vaguely cute? It was popcorn.

I have to get this stuff done. There are consequences if I don’t. This is where I am all “Oh, yeah. This is why I have been labeled with having a disability. This failure junction. Awesome.”

I miss Noah so hard. He would have had the citizenship paperwork in weeks ago. I am flailing. Also we are on our third fucking virus in a month. Everything feels so hard. I am so tired. My body is not enjoying this constant illness. When I mentioned it to an NHS doctor she said that we aren’t out of our house enough. We need more exposure to germs. Thing is, we are all a collection of weird long term health problems we have acquired from viruses. This is not going so well for us.

I wait until we are out of the range of contamination but I can’t wait for complete health before we return to activities. We’ve been coughing for about four weeks now, since the first one. Eventually we restart exercise and classes despite coughing the whole time. We aren’t contagious. We are simply not getting better. Then we catch a new virus and it goes through the house like a horrible domino video. Those things low key freak me out. I see them as indicating health problems and how they spread through communities. Ugh.

Ok universe, that’s all the time I have. I have some non-dairy mochi waffles to try out.

Shameless begging for love and affection.

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I don’t care that you normally go to Burning Man. It’s too big and commercial these days anyway. You want to stay here in the bay. Or better yet, you want to fly from across the country. This Labor Day… imagine a festive get away in the bay area. I want to have a huge birthday party and god damnit people you had better come. I’m only turning 30 once. I’m reserving Labor Day weekend. 😛

Announcement and House projects

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I have just decided that I am going to publicly announce that my Sarah (dangerpudding) is moving in with us towards the end of the summer. Right now August 1st is our target date. All co-housing situations have the potential for drama and stress. However we are going to choose to say, “We are ignoring the fact that often there is roommate drama! It’ll work out!” Basically I anticipate us getting some outside mediation at certain points to make sure my head is out of my ass. 🙂 There is so much potential for good here it isn’t funny. Sarah and I travel well together, spend excessive amounts of time together, and are both good at retreating to our rooms when we need a break. Cross your fingers for us and send us your blessings because this working out could be the solution to many of mine and Sarah’s problems. Good wishes are very very helpful.

That said! If Sarah is moving into my house there are many things that must be changed. Our house isn’t very big and we are currently using all of it. It’s going to mean a lot of adjusting our current house usage and getting rid of stuff. It also means that I have to get around to finishing the garage conversion. 🙂 Noah has the next four days off of work and I am going to take advantage of him being home to get through chores as fast as possible. Lots of painting. Lots of moving furniture. Other random sorting or minor chores that need to happen in the next few months.

As is my want, I periodically put on here that I would love house with house chores! Sometimes people show up and sometimes they don’t. Both are perfectly ok. But, if anyone out there has not much to do over the next four days this would be a better-than-average time to come over. Even if you don’t want to do house chores Shanna would love a play mate. 🙂 Or you could just chat with me. I’m open to many variations. 🙂

Sup-optimal planning

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We were reminded today that Noah had previously signed up for a professional conference that starts… Friday. It goes Friday-Sunday. So! Uhm. This’ll be festive. Would anyone be willing/able to come hang out with me and the girls for some of that time? Right now I am not completely bed ridden at this point but I’m a little nervous about being the sole grown up for that long.

Ladder!

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So next Tuesday we will be putting drywall up in my garage. This is very exciting to me. I am curious if anyone has a ladder I can borrow. Probably not more than 8′ and 6′ would be better.

In addition to generically begging for a ladder, if you have time on Tuesday during the day this is the sort of project where additional help could be really really handy. 🙂

Request

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I know I posted a Christmas wish list, but really that was just for Noah’s sake. 🙂 What I *really* want for Christmas is for you to send me a picture of yourself that you really like. (And you. And you. And you over there in the back.)

See, I love having pictures up. I think it’s awesome. Mostly at this point I have pictures of Shanna and as nifty as she is, she is hardly the be-all-end-all of my life. If you think I consider you a friend, I want a picture of you. Actual honest-to-Gawd print photos would be my favorite, but if you don’t have a print picture you like of yourself it’s dandy-fine to send me a digital picture and I’ll get off my ass and figure out how to get prints made. (I’m sure it isn’t that hard, I’ve just never done it.)

These pictures can be recent or from the distant past (I have a fondness for the grinning kindergarten pictures). I have a mild preference for a picture from the time I have known you, but it’s only a mild preference. How do you want me to see you? If you want to send me not strictly-G-rated pictures I’ll hang them in my bedroom with the other non-G-rated pictures in my house. 🙂 [uhhh…I’m not asking for pornographic pictures–I mean more like wearing fetish gear or something…]

If you want, you can think of it as a meme. 🙂 [Hey rbus–I would love to know what you look like. If you sent me a picture of that creepy ass Santa I won’t be overly thrilled.]

I copy Noah!

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We’re still having a games night in the evening tomorrow and getting the games, books and stuff from storage during the day tomorrow. We’d love help for both 🙂 We’ll be around all day, though if it’s just me and the girl boy then you might need to call first to make sure somebody’s around when you arrive.

I won’t promise what specific games we play — again, it depends how many show up. But I’ll hint in passing that we’re both big fans of “Give Me the Brain” 🙂

We have all of the bookshelves now! Which means that putting them together will be the first big move of the day. Then getting boxes! It’ll be great! Really! 🙂

(Thanks Ethan!)

Dear Universe

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We have this list of things that needs to get done. It could all easily get done in a weekend or two if I was able to do it myself. If several people came over and helped Noah (because I can’t do basically any of it right now) it could probably get done in a few hours. Asking for help is hard. Really hard. But people keep telling me that there are actually people out there who would help me if I let them, so here I go.

These are the things that are driving me absolutely batshit because I can’t do them:
Get rid of garbage out of shed
Move empty boxes into shed (Anyone need boxes?)
Rearrange garage
Go get boxes out of storage and stop freaking paying for something that turned out to be a bad idea
Buy and set up furniture (bookshelves)
Unpack boxes from storage

Given how close we are to running out of time probably next weekend would be best. We would quite cheerfully provide food and alcohol and games to play afterwards. If people agreed in advance we could probably even fill and turn on the hot tub so people can soak after working hard.

So uhm, would uhm anyone be willing to come help?

Bummer.

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Yesterday Noah was ultra-poopy-feeling and I was mildly poopy feeling. Today he is mostly ok and I feel absolutely awful. And as a result I feel angsty and whiny and fussy. The internet is not doing sufficient tricks.

So, tell me a story? Could be funny/silly/random/sad/deep/superficial, whatever you are in the mood for. I just wanna feel like people will do the pat on the head thing when I feel icki and Noah is off doing that work thing. 🙁

Probably too late, but worth asking…

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Is anyone available to come help Noah move some furniture tomorrow? We are having carpeting installed soon and we need to get most of the furniture out of the house and I can’t do much of it. We are also trying to get some stuff taken to the dump (oops leaving it in the rain) and boxes taken to storage. I assume our friends have lives and stuff, but maybe someone will take pity?

(Hey Michael–any possibility you could come get the bookshelf sometime before Saturday?)

Shower?

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As of Monday I was ready to cry because only one kid showed up and I was terrified that we would never get even close to my schedule. On Tuesday four kids came and it turns out that one of the parents of one of the kids has a paint spray machine that he will let me borrow. So we got all of the hole filling and wall washing done and we can do all of the primer today in about two hours. Then we can do all of the painting on Thursday. And me and one kid will be doing that bit while another kid does the bathroom and two or three kids work in the kitchen. Did I mention there will be one to two more kids doing yardwork today and tomorrow? I’m terribly excited. We are so going to finish on time.

However, this means we are sleeping in a tent in the back yard for a few days because the spray machine requires so much fucking plastic wrap over everything it’s just not funny. We also shouldn’t use the shower because the paint in there requires drying before it is water resistent. I’ll deal with smelling funny for a day or two, but it seems impolite to go be social on Saturday without a shower. Does anyone have a shower they are willing to let Noah and I come use on Saturday morning? We could just go to 24 hour fitness, but this gives us the mixed excuse of maybe grabbing breakfast with someone. 🙂

Good golly Miss Molly.

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The stack of grading is 5″ tall.

I am really looking forward to this being over. When this stack is done I have one more personal narrative essay to grade (due next Friday) and some simple reading quizzes.

Reminder! Grading at my house! Saturday!!! May 26th–I am going to be starting early in the morning because I have to get it done no matter what. Please show up as early as is convenient for you. 🙂

Just so it’s been said.

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May 26th we’ll be grading the writers workshop papers. Grading them is easy and actually kind of fun because we mock the children. Last batch we came up with: “But why Ryoko, why?” I mean… what could be better than that? To sweeten the deal: I will supply food and booze. 🙂 It’s actually kind of fun doing it with people and it goes relatively quickly. And just think, you will be saving me a significant amount of time. 😉 You don’t have to be an English major to grade these you just need to follow a rubric and be able to spot gross grammar mistakes.

Edited to reflect the Saturday date. Oops.

hmmm anyone bored?

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I’m making the vocabulary final for my little darlings. I’m also working on making the book test. My brain is being very fried so I thought I would put this up here in case anyone is feeling bored.

Your challenge, should you choose to take it, is to create questions for the final. The test is going to be administered with a scantron for ease of grading. Make one question, five, the whole test… anything would be great. 🙂 The directions and words are below in the cut…

Continue reading →

Friday FNW?

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Is anyone going up to FNW from the south bay this week?

And my plans for Saturday consist of being a little girl all afternoon and then maybe SFSI, but I’m open to better suggestions.

In the spirit of “Oh baby give me a better offer” I’m screening all replies…

This is also a good time to just tell me something generically dirty and/or fun. 😉

Calendaring

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Remember that psycho schedule I once had? Damn. Life sure is different now! 🙂

I’m putzing around trying to pretend I have a life and such and I thought I would toss a few things out into the air just to see where they land.

This week I have to finish grading. It is just non-negotiable and I suck and I need to stop fucking procrastinating. So what am I doing? Procrastinating. *sigh* I don’t know when I will finish…
Friday is the TNG party though. That should be fun! I’m going to be all pervy and schtuff. Yay!
Saturday-Tuesday I think I am doing a road trip with Japlady down to D-land. Yay! (Hey sweetie… uhhh are we doing this still?!)
I’m thinking about hitting BaGG on the 11th and/or the 18th. Is anyone else interested? I will also be trying for S&P attendance ’cause classes start soon.
19th: Anyone want to hang out? *bat eyes*
20th: I will either be going to FNW or the kinky chicks movie night in the city. Depends on if Mo wants to see the movie. Otherwise I won’t drive up cause I’m lame.
Uhm… a work thing in the morning on the 21st and that’s it. Any ideas/invitiations???

I can fill most of the Friday/Saturday nights in February but I have this wiiiiiiiiide open Tuesday thing going on. I don’t work or have classes on Tuesdays this semester. Anyone want to spend any time with me? *bat eyelashes* Come on people, save me from a fate worse than death: trolling for dates on craigslist. And Sundays are going to suck. 🙁

I propose (generically): movies, hiking, gym, I would love to get a bicycle and start riding it with someone, any dance events you think I don’t know about, just hanging out and talking, coming over so that we can cook/bake nifty things together cause I really love doing that, game nights…. ok. That’s a few ideas. Any takers?!