Tag Archives: questions

Thinking about traditions

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I have a mixed history with Christmas. Sometimes it has gone well (I had a couple of good ones thanks to Tom) and sometimes it has gone very poorly. Now that I’m the mommy I get to set a lot of the parameters around how Christmas goes so I’m thinking about that a lot. There are a few traditions my mother started which I want to continue:
-You get to open one present on Christmas Eve. It’s jammies. Ha!
-Your stocking is full of a mixture of very useful things and very silly things. Socks and underwear are pretty standard.
-Home made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. 🙂
-Your “Santa” present is unwrapped under the tree so that you can have something to play with before everyone else is ready to open presents.

What kinds of traditions did ya’ll grow up with? What traditions do you still keep?

Before anyone is snarky: yes, I recognize that many of my friends are Jewish. Tell me about your Winter Holiday of Choice traditions. 🙂

Curiosity

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Is anyone going up to Manda and Tristan’s wedding this weekend? Uhm, obviously I mean is anyone from my friends list. I’m sure they have friends, I just don’t know how well we will overlap. I’m curious cause I’ve never been to Camp & Sons before and it would be awesome to have someone show me around without having to be you know, gregarious or outgoing or something ridiculous like that.

And they have outlets, right? I won’t have to try and blow up the air mattress with my lungs? 🙂

Inspiration?

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My blogging has gotten particularly boring lately and I’m aware of that. So, if you would like to have something more interesting to read, here is your chance. Stolen from my Sarah.

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don’t blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don’t blog about, but you’d like to hear about, and I’ll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on Orlando Boston drivers, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques literary criticism, what I actually studied in school, teaching, etc. Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other.

Comments screened, posts might be filtered – possibly just to the person who asked the question, if it’s touchy enough. We’ll see. (Though I’m usually not that sensitive and people basically never ask me questions that violate my sense of appropriate.)

Therapist recommendation sought

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A friend is getting to the point where she is ready to admit she has some issues. (About time.) She is not poly, kinky, queer, or anything else I would consider all that interesting or limiting in finding a good therapist. heh. She’s a very straight, sorority girl type with a lot of anxiety issues. Does anyone know of a therapist they like/respect in Palo Alto? She is afraid of driving too far, so as close to there as possible would be great.

I realize my description of her doesn’t sound too flattering, I do actually like her a lot and I’ve known her all my life. She puts up with me so you know she is open minded. 🙂

{dirty} What is sex?

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I’m curious how people define sex. Or rather, what people think about specific sex acts. So I made a poll. (It’s the easiest way to get feedback cause ya’ll are lazy.) Some of the questions are radio, some are checkbox because on the radio ones I think you only get to pick one answer, damnit. I reference you “list” a bit not because I think everyone actually keeps a list of who they have sex with but more because if you were going to write down for posterity who you have had sex with, would this person make the cut? Feel free to elaborate in comments. 🙂

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Maturity

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I was talking with someone recently about the idea that someone else believes that she is mature. The person I was talking to and I were a bit… skeptical about this assessment. I brought it up with Noah as a slightly more abstract conversation and he gave me a perspective that I haven’t ever heard before. He said that people like to say they are “mature for their age” and what they mean is they are doing things they were told they can’t do yet due to age. Like drinking before you are 21, this is not actually a sign of maturity–more a sign that you believe that the rules shouldn’t apply to you. I think we mostly agreed that actual maturity is more about learning to accept responsibility for your actions. I would be a bit harsher and say that I think maturity is when you not only have to accept responsibility for your own actions, but when you start actively learning from your mistakes and you stop doing things that have worked out badly for you in the past.

I’m curious though–what do other people think “maturity” means?

First question

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“My question is about your views on Home Schooling vs. Group Schooling. Why did you make your choice to educate in the home? Was this informed by your being a part of the Public School system?”

I have actually been pretty determined to home school as long as I have known I wanted to have children. So this choice predates my teaching experience. I formed my opinions largely as a result of my own experiences in school. I moved around a lot so I never really settled into one school system enough to “go with the flow”. I was always either ahead or behind everywhere I went. I got to see how many other people handled school though. I was always shocked by the people who were never given any individual attention by teachers–kids who weren’t stupid, but needed help. I watched the smart kids get bored. I watched the whole class get derailed by the behavior problems of one or two kids and no learning was allowed to happen. This always offended me on a deep level. I always felt *pissed off* when kids would disrupt the class so that I couldn’t learn. And there was nothing the education system was able to do to fix the problem.

As I grew up and talked to adults about how school worked for them when they were younger I have grown more and more appalled that the ‘smart kids’ just sort of floated through without ever being seriously challenged while the ‘dumb kids’ were never helped enough to allow them to really catch up. What is the point of spending 13 years in a classroom where your needs are never specifically addressed? I’m a damn smart cookie. I’m more than capable of teaching everything that a kid will see up through about 9th/10th grade. I can also do this in a way that is tailored to the needs of my kids so they can either move faster or slower *according to how they learn*. We can spend more time on projects. We can do more cross-curriculum focus. Once they start getting into the highest levels of math and science I am going to struggle, but luckily I believe in asking for help when you need it. Noah can cover any math we need and there is nothing wrong with starting to take classes at a JC at 13/14 if they really want to push into harder science than I can handle.

Then I became a teacher and was repeatedly told to keep pushing through curriculum no matter if I was really serving my students or not. The overwhelming anger I felt at knowing that I was becoming part of the problem is something that I can’t forget. It’s why I made kids come in after school if they weren’t getting stuff. It isn’t possible for me to spend individual time in class with 30 different kids. I don’t think teachers are awful for this–I know it isn’t physically possible. I blame the system. And instead of looking at my kids and trying to figure out who to blame for the gaps in their education I am going to step out of the game and say that the buck stops here. *I* will be the responsible party. I’m good with that.

Something I’m thinking about.

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Many of my friends are going through really rough/crappy stuff right now. Lots of the situations are things where generic advice/condescending comments are not helpful in the slightest. But some of the people going through unfun stuff are my favorite teenagers (you know, the ones who were given this lj handle…). Some of the reasons they were given this access is because they are a)interesting b)budding freaks c)thoughtful beyond their years, etc. Really, just fucking awesome people. (Maybe I’m biased.) Whereas I know that some of my friends are completely opposed to giving advice to teenagers, not all of my friends feel so limited. 🙂

So something that I would ask of my friends in general, because you are all a fucking interesting group of people, is what would you say to teenagers who are going to be the kind of people you hang out with in a couple of years? How did you get through being a teenager? How did you deal with depression? For my not-so-skinny friends (and hell, my skinny friends too) , how did you deal with the societal disapproval for not conforming to the conventional idea of beauty? How have you learned to like yourself more or come to terms with the parts of you that you don’t like (physically and otherwise)? Did ya’ll hold off on sex? Why? Keep in mind that these stellar kiddos are still legally minors so we can’t get graphic, but being honest doesn’t have to involve being inappropriate.

I will understand if people don’t want to comment, but it would be neat if you did. The kidlets may or may not respond cause they didn’t ask me to do this. I’m just pushy like that. 🙂 I will screen anything I think is inappropriate.

Rob is way too damn accurate today.

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He tells Virgos:

It’s the perfect time to kill off old habits that drag you down and to sever bad connections that bring out the worst in you. Therefore, I suggest you make an undercover search-and-destroy visit to the murkiest parts of the underworld. When you get back, invite skeletons to come out of the closet and monsters to crawl out from beneath the bed for a nice long heart-to-heart talk full of tough love. And in general, don’t you dare avert your gaze from any song and dance that might half-scare you and half-inspire you into triumphing over evil. P.S. In every decay there’ll be beauty; in every loss there’ll be a glimmer of future joy.

Given that today I started off being all angsty and insecure and stupid this horoscope is way too timely.
I was asked what I get from my insecurity and how it has kept me safe. It was an interesting thing to think about. As the day has gone on and I have thought about that a few times and each time it really swims to the top of my brain and I think about the very specific things I have gotten from my insecurity I become more ok with the fact that it’s not a terrible thing for me to feel some insecurity in general.

I would like to ask: how do you (every single individual one of you) handle feeling like you are “Not the best”?

Questions

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A brat asked: What question, self examination or otherwise, would you least like to be asked about now?

And what question, self examination or otherwise, would you most like to be asked about now?

A long time ago, when I was a little girl, I remember my father taking me shooting. At the end of the day we were back at his house and he was cleaning the guns and I was sorta helping. He picked up one of the hand guns and held it to my head and asked me, “Do you deserve to live?”

I don’t want to be asked that right now.

I don’t actually know specifically what I want to be asked. This week has had some massively hard bumps and despite the fact that I am doing really well at my job right now I am very much feeling like a waste of oxygen. I would like for a question to exist that would lead me to believe I have some worth. But I don’t know that such a question exists.

Questions

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I was asked why I have chosen to be so open about my sex life.

It’s complicated. See, I grew up in a family where sex and discussions of sex were extraordinarily common and yet we were supposed to be ashamed of it. Sex was introduced to me at a ridiculously young age and I have been preoccupied with it for most of my life. When I was a teenager I was really into it, but I was called names and told I was bad and shamed for it. I always thought that was wrong. Why were people so upset that I was having sex? It didn’t make sense. Then when I had the first of a series of break downs I realized that I couldn’t keep secrets anymore. I don’t do anything that I am ashamed of, so why should I hide it?

I have also gotten to the point where my being out is a matter of principle and example. Me being this out lets other people see that their interests/activities aren’t anything to be shamed of. It’s a big deal to me. I didn’t originally set out to be a poster child, it just kinda happened. But it works and I’m happy with it.

More questions

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Now I have seen : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYhlm9GTAQ0&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eyesbutnobutyes%2Ecom%2Farchives%2F2007%2F02%2Flunch%5Fhour%5Fveg%5F104%2Ehtml and thank you so much for sharing it. I am very happy.

I was also asked where I would like to travel outside the country next. Hmmmm…. In my ideal world probably Italy or Germany. Noah is more inclined towards Asia though, so we’ll see. 🙂

Yay questions

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To entertain me while kidlets are writing.

“Ok, what would be hardest to live without, what would would be easiest. The choices are clothes, sex, chocolate, books and your car. Please list them in order of hardest to easiest, and any additional commetary you wish to make is up to you.”

and “What are the 5 most important qualities I think a parent should have?”

Hardest to easiest: sex, clothes, books, car, chocolate. I don’t even like chocolate, that wasn’t a competition. Yeah, I’m not giving up sex buddy. HELL no. But I’m shy. 😀

I think parents should be patient, positive (in the encouraging kind of way), good listeners, stamina (kids are exhausting), and most importantly–parents need to be able to have good boundaries. So they can model them and so they can survive the little twerps.

Copy Cat (meme)

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Last year a tradition was started by a few really neato people. I’m going to copy it.

March is question month. You can ask any question. It can be as personal or non-personal as you want and I am screening the questions. I will also let you ask anonymously if you want.

I wonder if I will actually get any. 🙂