My prep period is fourth period. Normally this means I get a little break early in the day. But on Tuesdays it means that I teach two 105 minute classes with a two hour and 45 minute break in between. Wednesdays I teach three 105 minute breaks with only brief releases to sprint to the bathroom and wolf down food.
Oy. Next year I’m voting on a different schedule.
I just got this email from a parent.
Mrs. A,
Hi my name is J. M. I am N’s mom. I just wanted to send you a little note to let you know how much N needs your class. Although he went to a private school for 9 years, the writing program was very week. He suffered last year and is now in your class.
N came home the first day and said, “Mom, I totally need this class. She is going to really teach us how to write. She went on to tell us how important writing will be for the rest of our lives.” I must say I was impressed with his reaction to what you said.
I will do my best to keep him motivated and on top of his homework. I will be checking school loop every day. I would like to send off an email to you a couple times a month, just for checks and balances and to keep on top of any missed assignments, should there be any. I know you have a million kids all day long, but I hope we can stay in touch periodically through email.
I look forward to a great year for N and him learning how to write properly!
Have a fantastic weekend!
dudethissorocksmysocksoff!!!!
Edited cause I’m a dork.
School Loop = online source where teachers post assignments and do their gradebook so that students and parents can stay up to date.
I have a doctors appt for 8am the day that my insurance comes into effect. The medical center is even near my house. I am setting up sub plans so that I don’t have to come in at all tomorrow.
This is at least somewhat responsible.
I am still so freakin sick it isn’t funny. Because I am repeating myself a lot during the day (the same damn class four times) I will trail off in the middle of a sentence and ask if I have already said that. I feel bad for the kids. 🙁 I’m *so* happy they have all been working hard today. I haven’t had to do more than remind them a little to not interrupt others while they are working. It’s great.
Eating is not super fun cause my throat hurts so I am mostly eating over ripe fruit and drinking juice. The pad see ewe I had for breakfast was even a bit of a stretch cause the broccoli was kind of owie. It was SO DAMN TASTY though. Totally worth suffering for. I want to leave school basically as soon as 7th period is over and go home and lie down. My shoulders don’t hurt as much by neck is hurting more and more by the quarter hour. This totally blows.
I was told that I should take advantage of this forced alone time to build my individuation or some crap like that. Yeah, whatever. 😉
Yesterday was freaking busy!! I went over to blacksheep_lj‘s house and helped her and her husband load the truck. I uhhh kind of started assuming dominant pack position and bossed them and the two teenagers who were also there around. Thankfully I don’t think I pissed anyone off and we got a lot done. 🙂 Then I came home and spent a little more time than I should have before I convinced myself to head down to my school to do some work on my classroom. Right now it is completely clean and tidy, but I don’t have everything in the room I need to have. I need to go to Target and Raft (a special teacher store) and get some more stuff. This is where teaching is expensive. Oy. While I was cleaning my room I talked to a friend about the party happening at the Citadel and I asked him to tell me if I should go or not and he told me not to. It certainly turned out all for the best so–thank you.
After the room maintanence I was feeling very anxious and disconnected so I went over to a housewarming I didn’t think I would make it to. I got to flirt heavily with some super hot people. I officially established a long held suspicion about them. 🙂 It makes me very happy. I… uhhh… think I will probably take them up on it at some point when my life is calm and stable and I’m not likely to end up being psycho at them just because I’m stressed out. (I love you both too much to want to subject you to my behavior while super stressed.) While I was there another friend called and told me about the womens party happening at Edges–which is the bdsm space in the south bay. So I ran off to that hoping to play with some hot dykes. Unfortunately no hot sex or play happened, but I did spend hours entwined around a gorgeous girly and I got to talk to people I haven’t spent much time with in a long time. It was really great. I didn’t leave until 1:30 and then I got to glory in the fact that Edges is less than 15 minutes away from my house, unlike the hour drive home from the city. Rock on.
Today I have therapy, two going away parties, and probably some house cleaning thrown in for good measure. Oh, I also hope to do Target and Raft runs. Tomorrow: special time with one of the people I value most in my life. It’ll be good. And Monday I start work and my Noah comes home! I think I am being successfully individuated. 😛
(Although–I’m beginning to think that my “I can’t sleep when I am alone” thing is caused more by my belief than by actual circumstance. I need some sleep desperately.)
My school is seriously desperate for English teachers. We are down by 3 full time teachers. (This means we have 15 class sections to place.)
This means we are cutting small class sizes for the freshman–this will eliminate the need for 7 of those class sections. But we are still short of teachers for 8 sections. Two people have gone back to full time from part time and they are begging people to take an extra section.
I volunteered. It looks like I will probably be teaching six classes next year. It will be an extra $7K/year. I made the request that it be an extra section of English 3 and not Comp & Lit for that class will be more stressful for me. We’ll see. This would put a bit of an accelaration towards paying off my student loan debt.
The extra load of grading will probably pretty much eliminate my social life this year. Hm. I’m telling myself that I am doing this for the good of my school and for the students and the extra money won’t suck. Scary though. I move from 20% to 120%. Dude! This looks like my life! ha.
I got hired!!!!
At the school where I wanted to be hired. So yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My boss sat me down and had a little chat with me about how I need to mellow out a bit and learn how to pick my battles better, but that’s very true and I don’t take offense to it. *bounce*
A friend posted his grades today and that prompted me to think about mine.
Not too sucky! Yay!
Twentieth Century Poetry: A
Seminar in Performance Culture: A-
Seminar in the History of Rhetoric: A-
Now, if only they didn’t subtract for -s. Damnit. Only a 3.8.
But my overall GPA at this school is 3.54. This isn’t superb, but it’s respectable.
Yesterday I had the privelege of grading my juniors’ final papers. Our last book was One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and a lot of our discussion centered around what makes someone crazy. Do people feel that they are viewed by others as being different than they really are? (Chief views McMurphy as being “special” but McMurphy shows no signs of feeling that way about himself.)
The papers were truly awesome. I told them to use their natural voice and tell me about some way in which they think people do not see who they really are. Spelling irregularities sky rocketed (coz for because, noe for know) but their grammar mistakes all but disappeared. It was very interesting. I told them that grammar and spelling were not going to be graded on this paper because I wanted them to not stress about formality and instead just focus on thinking about ways they feel like they are not being seen. The paper could be done as an essay, a story, or a journal entry. I received all three from different people. They were good.
My kids shared some of their most hurtful moments with me, some of the things they feel the most conflicted about because they aren’t sure if they are being honest or lying when their behavior changes somewhat from circumstance to circumstance. I heard about one boy’s torment because he is Muslim and a leader in the Muslim community (he is one of the most charismatic leaders I have ever met in my life–this boy is going to do something with his life and I want to keep in touch with him to see it) but he is experiencing a serious crisis of faith. He feels that the work he is doing in the Muslim community is something he wants to do with people in general and not focus on religion because he doesn’t feel he can have faith in something as ephemeral as religion instead he has faith in humanity. One of my boys talks about how his behavior radically changes from friends group to friends group because he is terrified of being alone and when he feels like he has disappointed someone he punishes himself by locking himself into a closet for hours so he has to suffer through being alone. One of my girls talks about the pressure of being “the good daughter” as she is working almost full time to help her family out financially while her mother is back in school to become a teacher. Another girl worries about letting her father down (he is a Pastor) if anyone from her church ever sees her as anything other than perfectly respectful and polite. My latino boys actually talked about the pressure to “be a man” while wanting to appreciate things that are gentle and kind. One girl shared how she is afraid that she is now a bully because in order to avoid getting beaten up again and again she started fighting back and initiating fights.
I could go on and on. The papers were touching and inspirational. They ranged in length from an awkward page and a half to six pages. (I gave no minimum or maximum.) Most averaged around three pages, which is quite a bit for my kids. I’m sad that a few of my F kids didn’t turn in a final paper because I want to know what they believe about themselves, but there isn’t much I can do about it. Watching this group of kids through this year has been a truly amazing thing and I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to know them. I know I’m going to break down crying in class today when I tell them goodbye.
I just hit print on my last paper of the semester. I have class in two hours.
So close.
This morning I said some things to my love that were hard to say. I don’t know that I would have been able to say them to someone else. But because I can say those things to him I know he is the right one.
Last night I found out that a boy I had totally written off as uninterested is actually very interested and has not been able to get me out of his head. Ha. Too bad I’m not available darling. But it is still an ego boost.
I get to see someone tonight who makes me smile and laugh and feel giddy. This NRE stuff is AWESOME.
I have gotten to be supportive of a friend going through a rough patch right now and I feel good that I can provide that even with my hectic life.
Seventeen of my students passed the reading quiz today. Two others tried hard but didn’t quite pass. Of the remaining twelve students only one was present the day we got the books and today. (So eleven kids either don’t have the book yet or were absent today. Attendence is an issue for my school.) I know that at least six of those kids will take it tomorrow and probably pass. If my prediction is correct I will have twenty three passing grades on the first quiz of the unit. Yes, out of thirty two. You think that sounds kind of sucky? Well, three of the nine who will fail it haven’t been in class for the past two months and there is no hope for them. My kids are actually doing really well. Many of the teachers in my department have as many or more kids with F’s and they have smaller classes. (Freshman teachers have 17-20 kids per class and they each have at least nine kids failing.) For the most part my kids are trying. I am very proud of them. They were awesome in class today. They asked me questions about the book and were attentive and participated. I walked out of class with a huge smile.
Today is such a good day.
I failed part two of the comps. 🙁
*sigh* I can take it again, but I really wanted to be just done. *sigh*
And I am about halfway into the paper due on Thursday. I am not exactly feeling all confident in my intelligence anymore tonight. I find it funny that the head of the department called me when I passed and emailed me when I failed. Pussy.
I need to revamp my earlier claim. I don’t work in the best school ever. I do, however, work in the best department ever. The rest of the school kind of sucks.
We are starting One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest today and as part of an into activity I emulated Nurse Ratched. They had to stand in an alphabetical straight line and I insisted that it be completely straight. Anyone who talked in any way got their name on the board for detention. I gave people so much grief. I was a nasty witch. I let no one talk in any way. It was scary for me. I had a hard time doing it. By the end I cracked. My face was totally red and I kind of panicked. I had to let them in on what I was doing. We debriefed and talked about the experience. We talked about how they felt. About how much they would have taken before they totally rebelled. I don’t know that they would have though. I think they would have just taken it and taken it. I was really skirting the line of pushing too hard.
It was hard to do. I’m still shaking. They thought it was very impressive though. They liked it as an exercise. 🙂 Scary. 🙂
Stroke my ego.
I just had a conversation with a parent about her kid’s grade. He has a 77% and at first she was kind of fussy about it being that low. Then we talked a bit longer about how I don’t think an A is something that should be expected … ever … and she started to see that the kiddo is doing pretty well. Then I pointed out a couple of areas where he is missing lots of points because he missed a few key assignments. Oops.
By the end she told me that she has actually been surprised because she hasn’t heard from me much. Normally he is a serious discipline case (hmmm … I suppose I do see him sitting in front of the VP’s office a couple times a week …) and does significantly less work than he does for me. She was fussy at first because he has been claiming that he hasn’t missed an assignment at all. Then we checked attendence versus missed assignments. Oops. He just doesn’t deal with stuff from when he gets sick. Then she asked how often he ditches. Uhhh… I don’t think he has ever ditched my class. Apparently this is shocking. He has been sick a few times, but not much.
Further conversation lead to the disclosure that he normally is nasty and belligerent with his teachers and ditches a couple of times a week. She says I am probably his favorite teacher so far in high school based on his behavior in class, his attendance, and his willingness to do as much work as he has done.
*blink*
YAY!!!!!!!
I don’t know why he likes me, but it’s great! I think he is an incredibly bright kid and he has always been very sweet with me. When I snap off my normal, “Shut up!” he grins and quiets down. He takes most notes (not all, but only the Asian kids take notes all the time) and contributes great stuff to class discussions. My ego is so incredibly stroked. Yay! Yay! Yay!!
but my comp exam was pretty easy for me.
I have been reviewing like crazy for my exam. Dude, I so know this stuff… although I know a lot more ancient stuff (a bunch of Greek plays, The Odyssey, Inanna than I will be asked for. Dude. I might actually know stuff!
Yeah, my ego is returning in full force. I am so going to kick ass. 20 hours and counting till I need to arrive for the exam. This will be a cake walk baby. 🙂
(I think I’m feeling so cocky because I have already reviewed 6/10 of the novels I want to review and I remember stuff better than I had thought!!)
I went and saw my favorite professor today (Thank you for the pointer Peter; my graduate experienced has been enhanced by meeting him–before now I haven’t seriously liked anyone in the department.) and he convinced me to stop stressing over my exams. We talked about what sources I feel very comfortable with and how to approach the exam. Maybe I’m not an idiot. 🙂 He certainly thinks I am extremely bright.
I am finally back on the network and able to use the printer at school. Not having this access has been a nightmare. Major YAY for the day there.
My kids are limping along through the poetry unit. I have started keeping 2-3 of the quiet kids after class every day to ask them how they are understanding stuff in class and what would help them more. I’m getting really good feedback. The loud ones are still whining, but they just do that. 😉 So I’m feeling pretty good about that whole situation.
scheduling babble
Friday is a god damn rally. Monday is a fucking minimum day. Tuesday and Wednesday are the fucking Star tests. Why in the hell wasn’t I told more than a week in advance that they are shortening my days and eliminating minutes for almost a week?
When in the motherfuck am I supposed to be teaching exactly?
I am wasting my time enforcing rules I don’t agree with anyway. I am tired of kids telling me off and calling me names. I just want to go home and I can’t because I have to stay. Today I am very unhappy. I have so much stuff to get done and I am wasting my time yelling at assholes.
I feel like shit. I really want to leave.
In order to do what I have to do, I sometimes am not capable of doing all that I would like to do. And further: even some of what I have to do I am going to let slide for another time. I have the lesson for tomorrow done. Jesus it took hours. Tomorrow will be yet more review and games. *sigh* They are not going to be doing the test while I am gone. They aren’t ready. Instead–back to back writers workshop. It will be a break for them and easy for my sub. I’m ok with that. Then when we come back we need to finish up grammar. Woof. I am the only teacher in my department who can rattle of what a participle or a gerund is and gosh-darn-it… my students will be able to do so as well. They are SO CLOSE.
Lesson planning vague basic outline:
Wednesday- final presentation and go over the homework (ha) exercises and start working on diagraming sentences. They will get the basics of the concept tomorrow.
Thursday- play games and diagram some more. Show them how the different parts of speech really work together.
Friday- WW
Monday- WW
Wednesday- come back to YET MORE DIAGRAMMING. Oy. They will need this much practice. It’s sad. I need to find some more games for them. Any tips?
Thursday- maybe the test?
Friday- move on to poetry.
Tomorrow I have to:
pack, finish lesson plans for when I will be gone, clean cat box, deal with school stuff, take a bath. All of that is going to take way too long. *sigh*