The stockings are filled. Santa presents are arranged. The small batch of gifts is under the tiniest tree. (We have 3 for a long list of reasons I’m not going to explain. This is the child sized one.)

I am breathing deeply. I miss Noah. I miss Noah like my soul is on fire and I cannot breathe without him. Yet on I move. I continue to breathe. I continue to do things and feel things and talk to people and smile. I will cuddle my babies today. I will try again on cinnamon rolls. Today I will play games and be silly. It will be fun.

On we go. Always forward. Time to turn the oven on for baking the bread.