Yesterday I flaked on the SF munch and plans with friends because my stomach hurt and I had a horrible headache. I wandered around in circles putting stuff away all day instead. Uhm… progress was made I suppose… I apologize to those I flaked on. I wanted to see you both. 🙁

I haven’t been going to play parties lately. I used to go to this one party every first Saturday for three straight years. Now… I haven’t been much in the last nine months. Dancing was the first thing that I was ever willing to skip the event for. I haven’t been to this party in six months. At around eight o’clock I realized that I should get off my ass if I was going to go. I didn’t really want to go, but I had RSVP’ed and I haven’t seen any of them in forever.Many friends were very happy about seeing me. I haven’t been going to the munch either, and now I really won’t go to that munch anymore (it’s in Sunnyvale. I don’t think so.)

I showed up a little after nine and left a bit after eleven. I am such a party animal. I figured that I would just be socializing and snuggling a little with these people that I have loved for years. Well, it was almost true. Until L told me to follow him to the kitchen. Then he had me wash his hands for him (ok, that was kinda hot). Then we went into one of the other rooms and he fucked with my mouth for a long time. I really really like being controlled by my mouth. It is one of my secret hot buttons. (Secret as in: not mentioned in the users guide.) Being controlled by my mouth is one of the fastest ways to get me into a submissive headspace. I get wet. I feel like I totally belong to the person who is using me. Very powerful stuff. We played like that for a while and then he went and got knives and hurt me for a while. *swoon* And I didn’t think I was going to play! 🙂 The goal of this scene, as stated by him, was to make me scream. Yay. I do like boys who want to make me scream. I talked to people for a little while after the scene and then I went on my way home.

Sleeping alone is ok. I am now up to four nights by myself alone in my bed in this apartment. (not that I am keeping track) I’m falling asleep ok if I cling tightly to Ted and Edmund. I haven’t woken up in the middle of the night yet. The hard part right now is when I wake up in the morning. That was the traditional time for Tom and I to snuggle. 🙁 Instead, I am getting out of bed way early and getting stuff done. Not a horrible thing.