Today I graded 100 papers. *woof*
Today I broke down and wrote something nasty about a friend because I am so angry. I don’t like it when I do that.
Today I had really good, cheap pad thai with no shrimp.
Today I had to go fill out the paperwork for my Victims of Crime benefits for the third time. When I left the office I broke down crying and couldn’t drive for a few minutes. I called my therapist and left a tearful message because I couldn’t think of anyone to call. That was really hard.
Today I attended a group meeting and did more than my share of the work and demonstrated to myself one more time why I hate group work.
Today I feel weak and ineffective and not very smart.
Today I have spent a lot of time thinking about how stupid I feel and how I don’t know that I even deserve to get a Masters degree. I certainly haven’t done enough to earn it.
Today is suicide Tuesday. I need to remind myself of that. This too shall pass. I will be ok. It’s just suicide Tuesday. I’m not stupid. I’m not useless. I’m not pathetic.
It just really feels like it.
*wow*…I AM feeling you…*
and wish you were here for open-faced bbq vegetable protein sandwiches…*mmmmmmmmm…and now I can have wine…*
Creamy orzo pasta with parmesean for dinner here… and I’m sorry sweety.
You are not stupid, you are brilliant, and we love you. You are everything you are meant to be, and you’re beautiful.
Tuesday is almost over sweety, Wednesday is another day.
Yes… it’s nearly Wednesday. That sucks about the VOC paperwork. Bastards.
I feel pretty certain that you have done enough to earn that masters degree.
Hope you feel better soon. *Smooch*