I struggle when new people ask me “How can I help?” My brain makes a loud buzzing noise then begins to sizzle. How the fuck should I know what you are capable of usefully doing? I don’t know you so well. Part of my ability to do this comes from my ability to look at tasks and see the various settings available for getting it done. Able bodied person in a good mood- 10 minutes. Disabled person who is deeply depressed- 10 hours. I’m fairly accurate for my guesses. It has surprised a good many friends over the years. I can guess how long it will take for someone I know well to do a thing.

It’s been weird and magical how believing that I have this power has shaped the lives of my children. I won’t tell you that you can do something until it is genuinely in your skill range you simply haven’t bothered yet. I watch them and their developmental curves like it is my 24/7 job or some shit.

What I would like to do is set up my garden space such that everyone who arrives can see what needs to be done, can find the necessary tools and equipment for helping without needing to have their hand held, and self empower to go do a thing. I’m not there yet but that’s how I’m thinking about this. This is the plan.

My fantasy is that when people want to “feel like they are doing something for me” it is obvious in my house and in my garden how that could work. I don’t like asking people for help. It’s hard. I like making it obvious how to help and if people want to they can step up or not.

This is my fantasy. That I will be so easy to help that people will just do it.