I worry about increasing exercise because lately when I masturbate (a lot because I am going kind of nuts) I keep thinking about really awful mean sex with someone I don’t really know.

I want to show up at his house with the expectation of having to strip at the door and drop to my knees. I’m never allowed to stand up in his house. A few times, in my fervid fantasies, he has been a gay man who won’t touch my cunt. Until my asshole is sufficiently stretched to be used he will only use my mouth. Please assume that my frantic rubbing is accompanied by a litany of filthy words and insults. In at least one of these fantasies he gives me threats that one of the next few times I come over he is going to do horrible things. I keep coming back until he delivers. Once he brought over his bisexual boyfriend so they can alternate between DPing me vaginally/anally and keeping me airtight. In this fantasy I have a blindfold on so I never get to see the boyfriend. While they are fucking me they alternate between beating my ass, thighs, back, and face. Every so often when I am gagging really hard they ask me to tell them again how much I want them to use me. I am supposed to beg around the cock in my mouth. Bonus points for them both pissing on me in the back garden after they are done fucking me.

Sometimes she calls me her little bitch and she tries to get me to do tricks and when I make a mistake she beats me. Sometimes she straps me into something that keeps me locked on all fours. I get to service her while someone I can’t see fucks me from behind. She tells me that little bitches get used by the neighbourhood studs with the strong implication a dog is fucking me. (No actual animals are used. This is wank material. Don’t come for me you uptight twits.)

Sometimes my job is to show up and clean a couple up after they finish with each other. That’s it. I don’t get to have any more contact. They kick me out after I suck them both off.

Sometimes I am going to visit a mean uncle who tells me that if I don’t do the gross/violent/degrading things he demands he is going to do much worse to my younger sister. (I don’t have a younger sibling.)

I am very horny and I no longer have a Noah to tell me no when it comes to doing bad things. Now I have to manufacture my own self control. Let’s merely say that I understand why my children have impulse control issues.

I want to do very bad things.