Author Archives: Krissy Gibbs

About Krissy Gibbs

Just your average hippy white trash incest survivor stay at home mom. Is there an average for us? No? Oh well.

That was intense.

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Today I got to break up my first fight after school. I was in my classroom when a kid in the doorway casually noted that a fight was happening outside. I *ran*. When I got to the fight I jumped on top of the two boys (who were each significantly bigger than me) and did my best to wrest them apart. I didn’t succeed. It took two much bigger men to do it, but I prevented at least a few punches. I didn’t even know the kids. There was another female teacher there, she was standing 4-5 feet away yelling, “Stop.” Not terribly effective.

I took quite a few punches. My left arm hurts. Both wrists are sore and my left elbow is kind of twingy. Ow.

It was hella cool.

I still can sorta feel the adrenaline. 🙂

I was firmly admonished to *never* do that again. They said to let the boys beat one another to a pulp because, “They aren’t worth the effort.” I have mixed feelings about that assessment. I will jump in again. I could tell that one of the boys was defending himself, not trying to be aggressive. That kid deserved to have someone pulling the other guy off of him. Yeah, my arm hurts and it may hurt for a few days, but that kid was taking a serious beating and if I kept even one of those punches from landing it is worth it.

And now to toss the last minute stuff together so we can run off to the airport. Texas, here I come. (This is scarier than the fight.)

Exhausted

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This weekend Noah and I did a combined total of about 30 hours of grading. Have I mentioned lately that I SO grateful for my husband? He rocks my socks off. I can’t imagine a more generous partner. And I was at work at 6:35 this morning. And there are miles to go before I sleep. *sigh*

But I get a lovely long weekend! Oh wait. I’m meeting his family. No stress there…

Ignorance and homophobia

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My second period is a class of low skills, low functioning kids. They are in the main extremely ignorant. This class manages to bring up on a regular basis how homophobic they are and how disgusting gay people are. They also rabidly deny that they could be gay. It really isn’t that I am trying to convert anyone, but I get really angry with the barage of venom directed at anyone who is not exactly like them. I told them that they are narrowminded bigots. They argued with me until I got out the dictionary and looked up the words for them. At this point they are agreeing with the assessment.

But I am so furious. I have a really hard time being polite with people who will flat out tell me that gay people are disgusting and if they find out that someone is gay they are going to beat the crap out of them.

I have 26 weeks left to deal with this class. It feels like forever.

mmmm memeage (aka holiday wishlist)

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cortneyofeden posted this (maybe I’ll fix the lj link when I get home on my computer and maybe not) and I am wanting a break from grading so here I go.

Step One
– Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered…whatever you’re comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related (“I’d love a Snape/Hermione icon that’s just for me”) to medium (“I wish for _____ on DVD”) to really big (“All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.”) The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
– If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it’s your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
– Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it’ll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
– Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here’s the important part:
– If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true. Sometimes someone’s trash is another’s treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don’t want or a gift certificate you won’t use–or even know where you could get someone’s dream purebred Basset Hound for free–do it.
You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out; it’s to provide everyone a chance to be someone else’s holiday elf–to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not–it’s your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just…wish and it might come true. Give and you might receive. And you’ll have the joy of knowing you made someone’s holiday special.

If you have done this, please leave a comment here with the link! That way I can surf around and see whose wishes I might be able to fulfill. (Yes, I’m adding the ones I see to my memories if they’re not already linked to in this post.)

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*sigh*

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A kid just sent me a document titled, “Englich project”

I can’t wait to read it…

It’s been a very weird day. My kids are very out of it and unprepared–far more so than usual. I’m bouncing my lesson plans around like mad.

Health sucks

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I’ve had occasional really bad stomach pain for a little while now. I’ve tended to try to ignore the outbreaks and treat them as if, “Well that was random–well… it’s over now,” but unfortunately they have been working on worse, not going away. When I threw up on Sunday because of the immense pain I was in that was a clue to me that I needed to deal with it pretty quickly. I skipped work on Monday and went to see the doctor. Her initial thoughts are that it could be gallstones, pancreatitis, or ulcers. I got a bunch of blood drawn and peed in a cup. First they called to assure me that I am not pregnant. Then they called to say that most of the blood tests were back and within normal ranges. So today I went in for an ultrasound. It was enh. Not a particularly traumatic experience–for which I am grateful.

Oh, and I seem to have a herpes outbreak. My first one in…. yeah. Long long time. No more kissing people for me, at least for a while. I guess that with enough stress I can break the streak of not having an outbreak in more than thirteen years. 🙁

Oh, and before the vomiting session on Sunday I had more work done on my back. So I just have massive discomfort *everywhere*.

Irritating

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I have this guy at work that I hang out with a lot. We have the same prep and his room adjoins mine. We eat together and hang out during our preps on Tuesday as the default. Today I hate him though. He is noisily eating pizza in my room and talking about how good it is.

I can’t eat today. I have to fast. I’m getting an ultrasound this afternoon (really, I’m not pregnant) and I can’t eat anything for 6 hours before it and I am in that window. He knows this. He is still eating in here.

Fucker.

What’s in a name?

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I generally won’t put my name on this journal, but some things must be said.

According to the DMV and Social Security my name is Kristine Lenora Gibbs. Wow, this is so real.

It is very odd that I feel like things are still unsettled and yet they are getting so much more comfortable. We bicker and fight more than is strictly speaking a great thing, but it seems like we are making progress. At least we don’t keep bitching about the same things. 🙂

I’m so very happy that I made this decision. Please God, let me keep this.

Progress is good.

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The truck is gone! HAAAAA I declare victory over the truck! *happy dance*

The couch is gone!! HAHAHAHA I declare victory over the couch! *happy dance*

The table is gone!! HAHAHAHA I declare victory over the table! *happy dance*

And I have eliminated the pile of boxes and bags around the kitchen table. The office looks freakishly like a room instead of a dark cave full of shit. We have a pretty cabinet full of pretty glasses. Laundry is going. I’m returning the movies I borrowed like a year and a half ago. We are doing very well on organizing our paperwork and getting bills taken care of. Wow, it’s been a good weekend. AND Noah vaccuumed. My life is good.

Anyone want a desk? tsgeisel think you might be willing to come get the bookshelf soon?

Here comes Santa Clause…

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Last night we were lying in bed talking about what we each want from Christmas and one of my things was that I am going to miss is watching the cartoon Christmas movies that my mom has. 🙁 Noah, being Noah, said: “Hey! We could check Amazon…” Dude. I’ve never gotten out of bed so fast. I RAN to the living room and we looked up several of my favorites. We found most of them, two not being available, and I am SO excited. We are going to have the Trolls and the Christmas Express!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEE

He’s a good husband. 🙂

Speaking of Christmas: how many of you are going to be sticking around town this Christmas? Who’s going away?

{inner circle} Hard stuff.

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This weekend a couple of things have come up which have been hard. Ok, so one didn’t exactly just come up now, but it was focused on with great force.

In therapy we were talking about how upset I am about the upcoming trip to Texas to meet Noah’s parents. I had originally asked for us to stay in a hotel so we could have more autonomy but through a series of unfortunate events it sounded like we were going to be at the mercy of his mother and her whims for the entire trip. Being me I shut my mouth, gritted my teeth, and was trying to brace myself for the trip. But the anxiety was getting worse and worse and worse. I ended up crying through a lot of therapy because I just can’t bare to be at someone’s mercy like this. I am so freaked out about meeting them, period, that I just can’t be at her beck and call the whole trip or I will freak out. But I’ve been really afraid of talking to Noah about this so he’s been assuming that I was fine with the arrangement.

I finally talked to him yesterday in the midst of my panic attack about how upset I was. How most of the problem was the control. I can’t really handle not being in control of where I am and how I’m getting around. He listened really well. He was willing to do whatever I needed in order to make this situation one where I am not doomed to misery from the outset. Lots more talking later and we are renting a car and getting a hotel room for some of the trip. (During the rest we get to sleep in an out building with a lock on the door so his mother can’t come wake us up before we’re ready.) I’m feeling much better. I’m nervous about how his mom is going to take the news, but that is going to be better than the alternative.

I’m still having a hard time with my family, but that shocks no one.

And yesterday I sucked ass at holding boundaries. I was trying to be supportive of a friend and I did it in a horrible way for me. I let her think encouraged her to think that it would be just fine if she used Noah as her standing ego boost. I shouldn’t have. I should have told her, actually no… Noah isn’t doing that kind of thing right now–neither of us are. But I didn’t. And now I’m scared that I am going to have to say it at some point in the future. I’m having a pretty hard time with the fact that I can’t figure out how to hold the boundaries I think should be in place right now. It isn’t that I am trying to take Noah off the market completely and forever, but I think we should develop a ‘we’ before adding in the complications of other people. It’s hard enough to deal with my insecurities without there being a person to point at and feel insecure about. I think I can learn to be secure here, but I’m not there yet. But I also don’t want to present myself as his jailor. 🙁 I want to be the carefree openly sexual girl but right this minute I can’t be.

You think you’re living on the edge, but I think you’re hanging from a ledge

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I’ve been on a real song kick lately. There are a handful of songs that I am listening to over and over. Kerosene, What About Georgia, Not Ready To Make Nice… All really good and interesting. But yeah. That’s an aside.

What I really want to post about is some of the lessons marriage is teaching me.

I am better off sleeping by the wall instead of the edge of the bed because that way I don’t kick my blanket off the bed. (This has just not been a problem before and I’m not sure why it has been lately.)
Everyone is happier if we have ice cream in the house.
It’s ok to say that something is hurting me without it meaning that he is bad and he understands that. It’s ok to say I’m not feeling happy.
It’s not a bad thing for us to have separate dinners.
He really is ok with going to bed early with me.
Maybe he does actually like me after all.

baggage (navel gazing)

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Last night I cried the whole way home from work. Not from work stress and certainly not from any stress having to do with Noah. I was thinking about my family. When I got home I went into our bedroom and wrote a long letter to them. I don’t think I will send it until Mercury is no longer in retrograde though.

Thinking about it, I haven’t been properly attributing a lot of my upset lately. I’ve been feeling insecure about some of the poly stuff with Noah but I don’t think that is actually it. I’m hurting because of how my family treats me and that is trickling into everything else right now. I have every reason in the world to be secure in my relationship. I’ve also been looking back on archive stuff I wrote when I was with Tom. Holy crap. Wow that relationship was massively broken. I’ve been thinking about this because lately my memories have been very whitewashed. I tend to hold on to good memories and forget bad things. Tom only seemed so good because he was so much better than anything I had before that, but that doesn’t mean our relationship was actually “good.”

Wow. It is hard to believe how much better my life is now. And I am actually happier than I have been before. And realistically my life is going to keep getting better. Wow.

I am so lucky. I have the most amazing friends and the best husband ever. Ok, so I still feel unhappy about my family–but I have to keep that in perspective and not let it affect my perceptions of my life as a whole. Cause boy howdy my life rocks.