Yesterday was a rather cool day! I had brunch with a cool guy. I think we have been fairly decent friends for the last few years even though we don’t get together in person very often. Ok, so our gap for hanging out together has been almost a year this time. So he was rather shocked when he saw me. I guess I have changed a lot more than I thought. He hit on me like mad, which rather surprised me. And he called me 30 minutes after I dropped him off to me how much fun he had and how he wants to do it again soon. I was amused. Yay.

Corset shopping with the girls was pretty fun. I got to spend some time with women I want to know better. This is good. After the main portion of the day was over I spent close to an hour talking one-on-one with one of the women. I learned some very personal things about her and I feel really happy that she thinks I am trustworthy enough to share things with. It is quite a compliment from her.

The DHP rocked! I had so much fun. I drank a lot and flirted even more. I knew the latex cheerleader outfit would be a hit. There were moments that weren’t quite as happy and many more moments that were just great. I can’t make everyone happy at all times though and I need to be ok with that in my head. The Boy tied up the girl I played with at the last DHP. I’m glad she decided to come. 🙂 Yay happy stuff.

This morning I have had a conversation that makes me sad. I don’t want to be the kind of person who “dumps” people. I think that being honest with myself and with someone else about the fact that we aren’t compatible for a variety of reasons isn’t “dumping” them. I think it is just trying to accept the level of relationship we can share. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

I’m going to the drive-in tonight! Anyone want to come?

So far I have talked people into the combination of:
Ella Enchanted and The Prince and Me

I can’t believe the boys are letting me pick movies that are this freakin girly.

The first movie starts at 8. If you want to come, give me a call/email/comment and I would love to meet up with people!!

This is kid friendly.

pondering. That’s what I’m doing… pondering….

*giggle*

I don’t suppose anyone would like to go to the gym today? I would like to be home by 7, but other than that I can go at any time.

I feel like my head is exploding. I am really in an odd mood this morning. Last night I had a very intense conversation with Noah. It turns out he is a lot more into me than I thought… I have already been surprised by this once I’m not sure why I am surprised again. I’m not entirely sure how to react.

I believe that a big part of why he feels so intensely about me is because this is the first time he has been able to explore bdsm with a heavy emphasis on D/s with a partner. Finding someone to explore the darker parts of your psyche with is incredibly powerful and I think part of what is so stimulating to him is simply that. More than being me, which is apparently working for him in general, I am his first submissive. That is pretty intense. I can certainly understand the emotions. That being said I feel some responsibility to be the more level headed person about the situation. I have more experience with these activities and how incredibly emotional they can be. I’m not in love with him. But if things continue with the intensity that they have had…. I will be. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. He is climbing inside my head in a way that few people can. I make minor off-hand comments about stuff I like and he remembers and follows through later. And then he steps it up a notch. I am seriously impressed with how well he handles D/s. He is very interested in learning more about pain play and I am looking into taking him to some classes in the next few months. I am fully capable of teaching him almost all the skills I would appreciate him knowing, but I don’t really want to be topping from the bottom that much. I have considered doing a few co-topping scenes and teach him on someone else, but I’m really not comfortable telling him how to hit me while he is hitting me…. That is just way too controlling.

So things are going on with Noah. I’m somewhat overwhelmed there. Ricky is coming home this weekend. I have no idea when/if he is going to want to see me. I think things escalated with Noah partially because I was trying to get over Ricky. I’m not over him. I have missed him like crazy. I have not had a day go by without thinking about him and missing him and wanting him.

I’m a fucking drama queen.

I may have an uncle. How interesting. I have a friend in the dance community who seriously looks like the stereotypical “Daddy” figure. He is just so cute. I mentioned this to him a while ago and every single time I spend more than five minutes with him he mentions it. He is starting to do extensive research on it. He isn’t really kinky but he is extremely kink aware. With how often he brings it up and how much he makes comments about what I “can or cannot” do…. I think he is looking for a paternal role. We discussed tonight at Pryanksters how I already have a Daddy and a Dad and a third person would be incredibly over-commiting that role for me. (Although Dad and Daddy play very different roles in my life…) So we decided that he can be my uncle. After coming up with this in conversation I of course had some additional thoughts about it. I take my family roles pretty seriously. It was a big deal for me to accept Guy as my Dad. I almost think this thing with Jeremy is moving too fast for that kind of role. I’ve only known him for 4 months. Hm. I feel pretty deeply commited to Dad, would I be ok with being more casual with an uncle?

Any thoughts from those of you with extended families would be great!

I did West Coast swing last night–it was pretty fun. I spent a significant portion of the class dancing with someone who does a lot of West Coast swing and is very good at it. He led me through some rather sophisticated turns and odd contortions. I wasn’t doing them correctly but I was doing them. He was very impressed that I managed to follow him. 🙂 I caught the last bit at St. Stephen’s Green on the way home. I was pulled into my very first polka set!!! I sucked, but it was so much fun!!!! I didn’t actually suck that bad considering that I have never done a polka set before, and I haven’t been doing Irish for two months, and I have only been dancing at all for a few months. Then I did the last waltz. I was very happy.

Tonight was Pryanksters. I carpooled over with Jeremy and mitrian. Jeremy and I tortured her on the way home singing along with Disney songs. It was great!!! He is probably the only person I know who is consistantly as hyper as I am. This is great.

I can’t believe I’m listening to the Hampsterdance Christmas album. This is so odd.

The weekend is going to be insane!!! Tomorrow night is a party. Friday night I want to go to the drive-in, anyone interested? It is a rather mellow way to be social and such. Saturday: brunch with fun guy, shopping with girls, DHP. Sunday: flea & Fandango. yay. Much fun shall be had!!! Yay! *bounce*

I’ve been staying between 154 and 156 for the last few weeks. It goes up and down depending on the day. This is not a bad weight at all. In reality, Dr. Moser told me that he would be happy with me being between 150 and 155, so I’m basically at an acceptable place right now. According to Weight Watchers, I need to get to below 142. So I need to lose about 15 more lbs according to them. This is the last bit of weight that most people have trouble losing.

So I honestly wrote down what I’ve eaten in the last 4 days (I think my count is accurate) and tallied up the points like a good Weight Watchers girl. I’ve been eating more than twice my daily points. No wonder I’m not losing! But I’m not gaining either. I guess all the exercise is helping with that. I’m thinking that I’m going to be really strict with myself for two weeks and not use my flex points and just get the last push done with. It might turn into more than two weeks. I want to finish! I want to get to where I need to be so I can do maintenence and have my bloody extra points and be done! Give me my maintenece points, damnit!!!!!! Yeah yeah… I have to finish the program first.

Other thing I thought about: I have 13 days until I need to turn in my next paper. And only 36 days until I turn in my final assignment for the term. In the next 36 days I have to read: 3 novels and 8 plays and a big packet of criticism and a book on criticism and do research for two presentations and write an 8 page paper, then combine that 8 page paper and the other 8 page paper into a 20 page paper with more data, and write another 20 page paper and write a 15 page story.
Tom felt the need to point out that I only need to write like 2 pages a day and read a book and two plays per week. Well yeah, but I’m not slick enough to partition out my time like that. I have sat down with my calendar and blocked out days to do each paper and read each book. I am going to finish all of this stuff early so that I can get feeback from the prof’s. It is important to me that I actually feel like I have done a good job this term. I want to get A’s because I have earned them–not because I am so good at bullshitting.

This unfortunately means that I am going to be skipping some events in the next 3 weeks. 🙁 I need to stay home and push myself to FINISH. I will crawl out of my hole soon. I promise. Until then, everyone have fun and send me emails telling me about all your delicious fun. I provide other people with wank material, where is mine?!

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
“down to sleep… I have to recite verses, or the system”

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Ow. The bed-post.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I think ER

WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
11 something

Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11:08 (This one amazes me. People really do keep an awareness of time usually.)

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The heater.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I walked from my front door to the mailbox.

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
g-blog

What are you wearing?
Socks with pink, green, blue, yellow, and red toes painted on them and a red polo shirt.

Did you dream last night?
Yes, I can’t remember what about.

When did you last laugh?
I laughed when I was on the phone with Debbie tonight. Yay! Debbie is home!

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A mirror with pictures stuck in the corners. I see my partner when he was about 14 (wow his nose was fully grown already!) and my brother holding his oldest child when the kiddo was about a year old.

Seen anything weird lately?
Hm. Weird. I watched someone bring in a McDonald’s bag to class and pull out a…. McVeggie Burger. I thought that was strange.

What do you think of this quiz?
Mildly entertaining as I try to wind down.

What is the last film you saw?
Fatal Attraction.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Corsets for all the beautiful women in my life who want them. Visuals are important.

Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
Who the hell are you? Different people know different things about me! I’m obsessive about buying greeting cards. I see them and buy them and know exactly who I want to send them to… and then I never do. Cause I’m a dork. *sigh*

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Hm. If I could really change something about people I would like to install a good work ethic into more people. I think laziness is one of the things that causes big problems in the world.

Do you like to dance?
Love it.

George Bush: is the President of the country I live in.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Shannara Brittney

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Delaney Patrick

Would you ever consider living abroad?
Probably not. I like traveling in other countries, but I really do believe that I live in the best country in the world.

Will you pass on this survey?
Most of my fellow meme-lemmings have already done this one. I’m late!

“You are submissive with men who turn you on. You are dominant with everyone else.”
“Yeah, that just sounds so self-serving.”

This is what I write for class when I’m in a bad mood.
Insecurity

Ok, since I now know more than 10 people who all use the same gym as me, how about if I just post suggested work out times and whoever wants to can meet me there? 😀 Yay. I’m going to be having a late night tongiht, so I will be showing up a wee bit later than usual tomorrow. I’m going to get there around 11:30. It will interfere with lunchtime, but life’s a bitch. I will be ok. Maybe someone else will be as well?

Heh. Let’s see how this works.

Dude. I just finished a long rambly email to my ex. He and I have been talking somewhat sporadically for the past 6 months or so. I don’t know why I’m doing it. I think I would really like to be friends with him at this point. He is such a cool person! He is currently on tour with a band as the sound engineer. He is really happy that music stuff is finally going somewhere. I am thrilled for him. Although, frankly, he should be in the band–not just crew. He is a damn good sound engineer, but he is an amazingly talented musician.

I do confess that I would like to see him just to show off. He always wanted me to grow my hair out. I’m a lot happier with my looks these days. Quite an improvement over when he and I were dating. Heh. Stupid petty shit.

He wrote and performed songs for me. I still have the tapes. I listen to them sometimes. I have to smile and sing along. I was special to him and I feel good thinking about it. This is probably sick.

So, what piece of underclothing is your favorite? This question is probably geared towards somewhat heterosexual men thinking about women, but I would be happy to hear about the possibilities for men as well. 🙂

The people cleaning have left, that means I can go ponder how I spent yesterday evening. 🙂

*bounce*

*bounce*

It is surreal to me to work on stuff I shouldn’t be working on at school, but I have 5 more periods ahead of me with children working silently. Hm. What to do to kill the time…

I know! I’ll work on my scene report!

Cons are so odd. There is always drama. Someone inevitably gets upset. By the end of the weekend many people are cranky and everyone is tired. There are new connections, hot scenes, and usually interesting conversations. I sometimes wonder if the hassle is worth it, but I still want to go.
So much stuff!

We are lying in bed, we have both finally settled in. It has taken us this long to finish packing. Drifting off to sleep…
(This all takes place in very fuzzy voices.)
T: Is your list all the way across the room?

Me: Yes. Why?

t: I forgot to set an away message on my email.

Pause for several minutes.

Me: I need to go to the bathroom.

T: When you get up, can you make a note for me?

Me: Unnnnh

T: Would you like me to push on your bladder to make this process go faster?

Me: No.

T: Good. I didn’t want to move anyway.

Then I laughed like mad. He is such a dork. But so cute!!!

Ok, now I’m going to finish getting ready to go. But I wanted to remember this conversation.

angelbob put up a link: http://tomatonation.com/slut.shtml

Go there. Read it. Yay sluts.

Bloody hell. Eventually I will learn how to use freakin lj. Sorry for the screwed up link.

Let the feasting begin!

Friday night: intense spanking, verbal stuff, forceful… uhm.. treatment.

Saturday night: violet wand done intensely. yay me!

Sunday afternoon: tied up, spanked, light caning, extremely forceful…uhm…treatment.

Monday morning/afternoon: clips and face slapping and verbal play and even more rough… uhm… treatment.

All this and Kinkfest is coming up! Yay me!

This may or may not interest anyone.

All this mumbling in class: