Hey! I want to go up to the city! Want to come? Please please please!!! How much begging will it take? I’m rather good at begging… Want me to prove it to you? Show up at BaGG and I will display my gratitute. How you ask? Well… how do you want me to? 😉

Come on people! You know you want an evening of debauchery with me. I have been endorsed as Fun (with a capital F) that means it will be good times for all! Psssss pass the word around!

*licks*

Notes: This is the next scene in a story I am working on. There are 14-15 pages of stuff before this. I know there are formatting stickies with doing this in lj, but I want to use this time to be productive for school. 🙂 I love my class!

Oh, and I would put this behing cuts because I know it is somewhat long–but I’m only computer literate enough to write my porn online, not literate enough to format it in nifty ways. Please accept my limitations. 🙂

—————————————–

Th e anniversary finally arrived and the four of sat down to dinner: Bastilla, and apple-baked game hens, and wild rice mixed with veggies, and an alternative steamed veggie type of salad, and pinapple upside down cake. Pineapples/pineapple juice make bodi ly fluids taste better.

I, of course, was walking around smiling like an idiot. I had been a very good girl and not pressured either Dillon or Vincent for weeks with questions about how they thought the situation was going. I was pretty certain that we were all ready to commit to a longer term situation, but there is always the possibility of doubt. I bought out www.candles.com and had the dining room glowing fairly brightly. I wanted the lighting to be diffuse and sexy. I also wanted to be able to s ee my food and not make a total mess of myself. Bastilla is good for being messy.

I dressed up for the evening, albeit in something pretty tame by my standards. Skimpy, tight, black cloth dresses aren’t terribly racy by my standards, but I hoped I wo uldn’t be wearing it long enough to care very much. I allowed my modesty to get the better of me and donned underwear though. I was quite certain I was going to be mocked. I put my hair up in one of my fancy coifs and applied some light make-up. I was hoping that by morning the make-up would be smeared beyond recognition.

Trista was stunning, as she is usually. She likes wearing form fitting white shirts that manage to look almost nude, only better. A very short black suade skirt showed off her del ightful legs. She likes leaving her long hair down. She thinks it is more of enticement for people to pull it that way.

The boys, being boys, wore pants and a button down shirt. I wasn’t really expecting too much more. Although at least one of them could have worn a kilt! Give me some chance for lewd comments! How ridiculous.

After I brought in all the food and sat at the table I couldn’t help wiggling in place. I was so excited! I was almost certain that the boys wouldn’t bother to bring up t he topic till after the meal, but that didn’t make my difficulty with sitting down any easier. Then Dillon decided to be ever so kind to me.

“If you don’t stop twitching I won’t fuck you later.”

I never knew how still it was possible for me to sit. La ughter abounded. At least the laughter was good natured. I am not terribly fond of being laughed at, but when the people are laughing because they love me and appreciate my voracious sex drive… I suppose I can cope. Dinner progressed in a more calm and sedate manner. We got to hear all about the project Trista is finishing for work. She is a research scientist. This means that I smile and nod when she talks about her job. Great honey! I’m so glad things are going well for you!

When all of us had eaten enough to be pleasantly full but not leave us sluggish, I cleaned up the dishes and hid in the kitchen for a few minutes. I was so nervous I was about to cry. I was on the verge of having everything I could ever dream of having. Was it going to work out?

I walked back into the dining room, but they had all left the room. Great, now I have to hunt for them. I’m not sure my nervous stomach is going to take any more of these cat and mouse games! I found them in our play room. We have a sect ion of flooring that is essentially a huge nest. It is large enough for a good 16 people to be fucking and rolling around and touching all at the same time. We have proved it. Lots of beanbags and feather mattresses and big cozy comforters. Not to men tion the large stack of trick towels just to the side. It is important to always have towels handy. Never go anywhere without your towel.

They were all sitting very close to one another talking in low voices. From the doorway I could only catc h snippe ts. “…touch me…” “…for tonight it is ok…” “…she likes…” “…double penetration?” Wow. I almost wanted to interrupt, but then again I almost wanted to turn and run in the other direction. I couldn’t believe what they were saying! Oh wait, I want them to talk this way. When I walked in to join them they all smiled at me in a very friendly sort of way.

“Hello gorgeous girl.”
“Hi! What’s going on?”
“We are just plotting things to do to you.”
“Oh. That sounds nice.”
“I rather thought you might like it.”

They apparently had decided that all four of us were going to have sex together! I honestly hadn’t thought it would happen quite like that. Usually they were all very certain of their personal boundaries with regard to one another. I know it hasn’t been easy for Dillon to go from being my monogamous partner to being one of my primaries. A V-triad was not what he had been looking for. He adapted quite nicely I believe.

I wanted to have the conversation first! How dare they distract me with sex! Fine… if you all really ~have~ to touch me, I suppose I’ll cope. Every filthy, fun, graphic fantasy I have ever had came true. I choose to classify my experience as triple penetration. Go me. The boys even touched one an other in vague ways. Neither of them are bi, but I think they wanted to feel a connection with one another that had never existed before. They were getting ready to commit to spending the next chunk of their lives very much together with one another. T rista is amazingly good at oral sex and I’m sure that Vincent now has some memories that can keep him warm for many a winter to come. It was amazing to me to be kissed and touched by all the people I love. Why did God decide to smile on me and give me t he love o f so many wonderful people?

—————————-

This may get more graphic, I’m not sure yet. But break ends in 2 minutes and I shouldn’t work on this with kidlets in the room. 😉 Maybe I’ll post the full story later.ˇp

The other blogging site won’t load and I can’t seem to see comments on lj. Catching up on my net-stalking during this period seems unlikely. Damnit. I have 35 more minutes of break though… Hm. Should I write something dirty?

*blush*

I knew I couldn’t handle friends only stuff.

Last night I had a first date with Noah. He is a newbie top apparently; damnit! I was told I was getting an experienced sadist!! I suppose it depends on your definition of experienced. He basically asked me if he could use me as training wheels. Uh… what?! Oh, I’m so extreme that he can learn lots of stuff from me and never get anywhere near my limits. *snort* How…thrilling…
Although after the brief bit of ‘instruction’ I gave him last night I discovered that he is a bloody fast learner. Maybe there is something to training your own top…. Hmmm… I think I will give it a shot. At the very least he is extremely enthused about the idea of a mfm threesome with me and I’ve never had one of those! 😀 And he rides a motorcycle. So I’m pretty sure at least some fun will be had. Even if I am topping from the bottom… *sigh*

I went over and visited Ricky Wednesday night and I’m seeing him tonight as well. This is the guy I’m going to be the most interested in seeing how my feelings progress… I think I’m going to fall and fall hard. He just gives off this vibe that is so completely yummy. And he just happens to be the very best kisser I have ever met.

Hot kisses
Deep
Strong
Wet, oh no, it is something else that is wet.
Grinding your leg between my legs, I moan. You smile.
A hand comes up and grabs my throat. The pressure is intense–I’m not sure I can handle it. I feel blackness all around my peripheral vision… there is breath…
Gasp
“Please”
“Please what?”
“Please let me come…”
“No.”
Oh god I feel my whole insides clench with the struggle to not orgasm. You don’t know how hot that makes me.
I want you to…
I want you…
I want..

Hold me.
Stroke my hair.
Safe.
Warm.

Thank you.

So I was talking to a friend about my ugly duckling feelings lately (God, why me?!) and her comment was: “You are a young, thin, submissive girl who likes wearing corsets. What isn’t to like?”

Good thing she didn’t say that to me while I was at school. I about hit the floor I was laughing so hard.

I tried to be all slick and have a subset group of friends who saw specific posts, but then I was looking through another persons friends list (who shouldn’t have seen the post) and… voila! There it was! Ack. Rapid delete. I guess that I’m not computer saavy enough to be selectively making posts.

Are Macs known for crashing? This POS iMac is crashing with every third email I open. I’m feeling very sad about it! WTF! *grrrrr*

The boy isn’t home and people aren’t online to be chatty with. What, is this the universe’s way of telling me to catch up on my sleep?

And I can’t find my glasses. Ack! I have also now discovered the outermost ridge of the wireless network. Hmmmm. But I will have new carpets by the end of the day! It will all be worth it I’m sure. I’m already plotting a party.

I just found the nicest dirty story livejournal. It sounds like her real, actual sm exploits and god ~damn~ is this chick hot. I have enjoyed wanking to her writing for a few hours now and I thought I should share.

www.livejournal.com/users/janezero

I’m in a good mood.

Just thought I would tell you. Whoever the hell you are. *peer through screen*

edited:
I can’t believe this thing has been up for a while and no one pointed out the horrible spelling error. Rather unforgivable of me.

My kitchen is a mess because we are finally getting hardwood flooring installed. Hurray! And the carpet will be installed next week! Hurray! Oh goodness. This means I should plan a party soon to show off our done(?) house! Dear lord. Not more activity! Ack. This may have to wait until April. I think February and March are already booked solid. (What an odd thought.)

So I’m sitting in my bedroom. I have eaten: yogurt, cheese, lunch meat, and raw veggies. I’m cutting hunks out of the cheese with the spoon I used for my yogurt. The cheese blocks looks oddly mutilated. I don’t have any other easy/non-cookable food in the refrigerator right now and I can’t get into the kitchen. (The fridge is in the living room right now.) I better eat slower…

I’m busily working on a story about a transman and what happened to him along the way to deciding to transition. It is really interesting. I wonder what will happen next. 🙂

The Dirty Little Secret
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master (DGSMf)

Innocent but fundamentally sexual, like the word “finger”. You are the Dirty Little Secret.

Few women have the confidence for sex mastery, and among nice girls, like you, it’s almost unheard of. So congratulations. You’ve had plenty of adventures, but you’ve remained a kind, thoughtful person. Your friends appreciate your exploits. They even live vicariously through you.

You seek pleasure, but you’re not irresponsible. You are organized and cautious, and you choose your lovers wisely. One, you don’t like dirtbags. And two, you like to maintain control. Or at least lose it selectively. You might notice that older men single you out. They have an eye for your sensual nature. Take it as a compliment.

You enjoy making people happy, and it’s inevitable that many guys will fall harder for you than you for them. You’re not completely comfortable in a serious, long-term relationship right now. Our guess is that the key to extended happiness will be finding a responsible, but kinky, mate.

—————————————–
I’m not sure how I feel about being the “dirty little secret.” I suppose that I’m glad that I’m a nice girl. I am comfortable in my long-term relationship, but can I still play?

I’m feeling strange today. I’m very tired and that means that I’m more inclined to be emotionally raw. I have several friends that are going through really rough stuff right now and just being near their pain is enough that I’m feeling sad today. I’m sad that my friends hurt. I’m sad that I can’t take away their pain. I feel rather selfish for my exultation over something as banal as school. Life isn’t fair and I’m noticing it today more than I would like. I’m thinking so much about what I hope to accomplish in the next few years and I’m tired enough that I’m feeling overwhelmed and incompetent. Arf.

I am an official student at SJSU in the Masters program. It was really sweet of them to give me lots of advance notice. Classes begin on Thursday. ACK!!!!!!! I’m so excited!

I’ve been in a mood tonight. I really really want to get laid. Somehow pushing Tom to have sex with me just won’t cut it though. I am so tired of having to push for sex. I want to be fucked, not do the fucking. Am I lazy? Or just wired funky? I don’t know. I just know that I’m really craving sex pretty bad.

This is what a friend told me last night:

http://img4.photobucket.com/albums/0803/withgusto/d498949a.gif

Hey! What are you trying to say!

These are stupid, but I get a kick out of them.

LAYER ONE

— Name: various and sundry.
— Birthdate: September 10, 1981
— Birthplace: Panarama City, California
— Current Location: Mountain View, CA
— Eye Color: Brown
— Hair Color: Brown
— Height: 5’5 1/2″ — The 1/2″ counts, damnit!
— Righty or Lefty: Right
— Zodiac Sign: Virgo
— Enneagram: Yeah, what?

LAYER TWO

— Your heritage: My family mostly wants to claim the German blood, but I know there is French, Russian, English, Irish, and Scottish in there and then there is that whole line ancestors we don’t talk about, who knows what they are.
— The shoes you wore today: I have on blue fuzzy slippers, but I’m going to put on tennis shoes as soon as stuff comes out of the oven and go to the gym.
— Your weakness: Today my weakness is food. I’m eating all sorts of horrible for me but oh so tasty stuff this week. Thus the gym.
— Your fears: I’m terrified of ants. They freak me out beyond normal coping skills.
— Your perfect pizza: I really like Canadian Bacon and pineapple.
— Goal you’d like to achieve: To figure out what I am doing finally and finish school and actually get a real job.

LAYER THREE

— Your most overused phrase on Yahoo: I begin sentences with “so” too much.
— Your thoughts first waking up: What time is it?
— Your best physical feature: I don’t know. Different people like different things.
— Your bedtime: Anytime between 9:30 and 2 these days.
— Your most missed memory: What an odd question. I don’t know what memeory I miss.

LAYER FOUR

— Pepsi or Coke: Diet Pepsi Twist
— McDonald’s or Burger King: Mcdonald’s. Fabulous stuff.
— Single or group dates: I go out with groups, but not on group dates. I go on lots of one-on-one dates.
— Adidas or Nike: Neither.
— Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I’m not big on tea
— Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
— Cappuccino or coffee: Yick.

LAYER FIVE

— Smoke: No thank you.
— Cuss: I do waaaay too much of it for my career choice.
— Sing: Badly, but I enjoy it anyway.
— Take a shower everyday: Mostly every day, sometimes I will skip a day.
— Have a crush(es): I have a love, I have a something (fling? relationship?), and I’m still looking at options.
— Do you think you’ve been in love: More than once, I’m lucky.
— Want to go to college: I’ve finished my BA, now I need an MA and a credential.
— Want to get married: Yes.
— Believe in yourself: Sometimes.
— Get motion sickness: Nope, spinning is the best thing in the world.
— Think you’re attractive: Some days I think so. Then I look in a mirror.
— Think you’re a health freak: Not at all. I struggle to try and be healthy.
— Get along with your parents: My father is dead and my mother is crazy.
— Like thunderstorms: Sometimes I like them and sometimes I get scared.
— Play an instrument: No musical talent whatsoever.

LAYER SIX: In the past month…

— Drank alcohol: Too much. 🙂
— Smoked: Nope.
— Done a drug: I have prescription meds that I take only as prescribed that basically get me high.
— Had Sex: Yes I have, but not enough.
— Made Out: Does foreplay count?
— Gone on a date: Yes I have.
— Gone to the mall?: Yup.
— Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I’m not big on Oreos
— Eaten sushi: Never have, never want to.
— Gone skating: I went ice skating, it was amusing.
— Made homemade cookies: Several times, a few hours ago in fact.
— Gone skinny dipping: Too cold.
— Dyed your hair: Not in a few years.
— Stolen anything: Not since I was a little kid.

LAYER SEVEN: Ever…

— Played a game that required removal of clothing: Many times
— If so, was it mixed company: Oh yeah. 🙂
— Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Too often lately.
— Been caught “doing something”: I’ve been caught doing all sorts of things. Some worse than others.
— Been called a tease: I tend to follow through.
— Gotten beaten up: Yup.
— Shoplifted: Yes. 🙁
— Changed who you were to fit in: I tried very hard to pretend that I was conservative and it just didn’t work out.

LAYER EIGHT

— Age you hope to be married: Mid-20’s
— Numbers and Names of Children: Somewhere off in the world of never land I like Shannarah Brittney and Delaney Patrick.
— Describe your dream wedding: Oh I’ve had daydreams a plenty about this one. Who knows how it will end up being, if it happens at all.
— How do you want to die: I want to live through my suicidal urges.
— Where you want to go to college: I’ve finished CSU Hayward and now I’m on to SJSU
— What do you want to be when you grow up: Important to people
— What country would you most like to visit: I have to decide between Ireland and Italy for my next European adventure.

LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl…

— Best eye color? I like brown.
— Best hair color? Dark or red.
— Short or long hair: Girls with long hair and boys with short hair.
— Height: I like short girls and medium-tall boys.
— Best weight: I like “average” people to some extra meat. Skinny really isn’t my thing.
— Best articles of clothing: corset. 🙂
— Best first date location: I don’t know.
— Best first kiss locatioion: I like outside, pressed against a tree.

LAYER TEN

— Number of drugs taken illegally: 2
— Number of people I could trust with my life: 2.
— Number of CDs that I own: Close to a hundred?
— Number of piercings: Only the first ear piercings are still around.
— Number of tattoos: None, it hurts.
— Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: A few actually.
— Number of scars on my body: I have a scar on the bottom of my left foot, on my cheek, my eyebrow, my mouth, and several on my arms.
— Number of things in my past that I regret: I regret not pressing charges. How is that for regret?