Category Archives: adult-only

Published in the adult-only category

Good party, mellow weekend.

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Last night we went to Winter Bash and had a good time. I’m not as social at these events as I possibly could be because I don’t know many people. But I really like the people I do talk to. Miss Jenny took pity on me and danced with me. It was very awesome of her. I was feeling bad because I couldn’t remember any of the ECD stuff at all but she went and got her ipod during a break and we did swing dancing and waltzed instead. Miss Jenny wins! I should bring her extra cookies soon as a reward. 🙂 I was also given pictures! Both from Miss Jenny and from Master Fiddler himself. whoo hoo!

On the drive home Noah and I talked about people (as we are wont to do). One of our biggest focuses this time was Master Fiddler. We talked about how good a job he does at creating an environment where everyone who comes to his house can feel at home even if they are rare visitors who don’t know many people. We talked about the specific things he does that create this vibe. Then we went on to discussing his place in the group in general. I mention this here because part of the crux of the conversation was about how much importance I place on the word “Master”. It’s cause of that history in the bdsm world. I take the word “Master” rather freakin seriously and you have to *earn* it. He really has. Not just because of his exceptional musical talent, but through the way in which he is absolutely the default answer for how things go musically for a rather lot of people. It was pretty nice to think in detail about how rocking he is. I like knowing people who have truly become a Master.

And we talked a lot about Noah’s job. It looks like he is going to spend a lot of time working so I am even more glad that we are not having a party. Instead we will be staying home and I’ll be puttering as usual and he will be working. It’s like we jumped right to Monday. I’m sure he will take extra breaks for cuddling though and that will be nice. My daughter just woke up so I will go play with her now. 🙂

Lessons learned.

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Some of these are things I came up with all by myself. Some came as a result of talking to my mom.

1) New cookie sheets so they are all a consistent color and I don’t burn half the cookies. (Dark cookie sheets need to bake at a lower temperature and you can’t go back and forth very well.)
2) Start baking in early November and freeze the cookies. (This is how Mary Poppins [that’s my mom] managed to have something like 10 different cookies for Christmas.)
3) No more than one or two single batches of cookies in a day. More than that starts feeling like unfun work and cookies shouldn’t be unfun work. (One or two batches can be done in less than two hours. That’s a nap-time project and fun.)
4) If I am not completely ready for a party by a week before I should hang it up. I get too stressed and anxious if I let things get too close to the wire and then I’m not able to have fun. (This is part of managing my anxiety/depression stuff. I have to watch stress. Being good at recognizing these sorts of triggers and dealing with them is why I manage to not be on meds.)
5) Get a different carrier so I can do back carries with Shanna. She is too forking big for me to work around her in front of me. (I can’t SEE!!!! And the moby is too stretchy to use on my back in a way I feel comfortable with.)
6) Don’t try to host an event while I am still nursing all night. It means I have very few hours of the day to work and I’m not able to get all the prep done. (I’m in bed for almost 12 hours a night. No really, I’m not underslept.)
7) Start baking more often, like once a week, so that I get more familiar with how to bake and I don’t make as many mistakes. (I ruined a couple batches of dough. That was frustrating.)
8) As long as I live in this house–make sure that I have completely cleaned off every single surface in the kitchen the day before baking. (There is not room to have anything else out and bake. And if I try to do it in the same day I get angry.)

I think that is enough from this situation. All that said, I’m only mildly twinging on feeling bad about canceling the party. I’m sad to not see my friends, but I can rectify that by making plans to see people one on one. That’ll be a good thing.

Party on Sunday

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I’ve decided that trying to have a party this weekend is noticeably increasing my stress and I’m unlikely to have that great of a time because I will feel bad about all the ways I feel I have failed. It’s really not worth it right now.

Sorry folks. I suppose it is lucky that not very many people wanted to come.

It’s the end of the world. (or not)

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I get too upset about stupid things. I got all excited about getting my mom’s recipe book and I decided that I was going to make Every Cookie Recipe In It. But you know what? That’s not realistic right now. I am stressing myself out for something really really stupid. It’s time to remember that I am supposedly a grown up and get over this.

My goals need to come down to a more reasonable level. No one expects that I be superwoman except for me. If I say, “You know, I didn’t manage to make your favorite cookies because Shanna kept me busy” no one is going to hate me.

I still feel bad. I’m kind of dumb sometimes.

I don’t like that the tired bear cries. I’m not crying.

Christmas Cards

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If you would like a Christmas card it is worth checking and seeing if I have your address. I’ve been pretty good about updating my address book recently when I’m sent addresses for things like parties but it may not be wise to assume I have your address. Unless I have sent you a baby picture recently. Those folks can assume I have your address.

Comments screened.

A very good day.

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Today I made four batches of Cinnamon rolls. This was after a fudge on the first attempt when the dough wouldn’t rise. Bother. I also made and put in the fridge: molasses crinkle dough, sugar cookie dough, and refrigerator cookies.

I went through nearly 10 lbs of flour and like 3 lbs of sugar. I need to go buy more flour before I can make more cookies. 🙂

This is so much more fun that studying for the comp exam. 🙂 I asked Noah for a laptop-free day and he was awesome about it. He read me some Peter Beagle stuff for a while and he spent some time reading The Moral Animal and talking to me about it. We also MST3K’ed a few Christmas movies. It’s really been a wonderful day. 🙂

And now my darling little boobie monster is falling asleep while eating. I’ve been impressed by her overall good nature today as I’ve spent very little time with her.

I love the internet.

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One of the boards I read (all that AP mom shit) had a thread today about how annoying it is when someone asks if your baby is “good”–meaning quiet, sleeps a lot, and doesn’t interfere with your life.

My favorite come back on the thread was:
“I tell them “No, he’s TERRIBLE! Yesterday I went to check on him when he was supposed to be napping and he had two prostitutes in there with him and I was like ‘Son, they have to go home now’ and he was like ‘##@$ you mom!’ and busted a cap in my @**!”

Cookies!

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My mother hand copied all of our family recipes into a cookbook for me. I think this is awesome and spiffy and I am incredibly grateful. You know that perfect cursive that was above the chalkboard in third grade? My mother writes like that. It’s incredible. Her handwriting is a joy to read. And tomorrow (Thursday), along with Miss Laura, I get to start baking! I’m so thrilled. So you all get a poll!
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Thinking about traditions

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I have a mixed history with Christmas. Sometimes it has gone well (I had a couple of good ones thanks to Tom) and sometimes it has gone very poorly. Now that I’m the mommy I get to set a lot of the parameters around how Christmas goes so I’m thinking about that a lot. There are a few traditions my mother started which I want to continue:
-You get to open one present on Christmas Eve. It’s jammies. Ha!
-Your stocking is full of a mixture of very useful things and very silly things. Socks and underwear are pretty standard.
-Home made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. 🙂
-Your “Santa” present is unwrapped under the tree so that you can have something to play with before everyone else is ready to open presents.

What kinds of traditions did ya’ll grow up with? What traditions do you still keep?

Before anyone is snarky: yes, I recognize that many of my friends are Jewish. Tell me about your Winter Holiday of Choice traditions. 🙂

One more time…

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I feel like a broken record but such is life. Unless I specifically ask for advice I am not looking to receive any. I am not the sweetest person when people offer me advice. I recognize this and I’m ok with it. If you don’t like my response to you when you give me advice might I suggest that you stop giving me advice. My response is unlikely to change and you are going to spend a lot of time feeling frustrated with me because I am not polite. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Think about that. (Ok, I don’t know if that is actually the definition… but it’s a really awesome pithy saying.)

That bloody figures.

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So we go to Urgent Care and the only doctor available is… the one I didn’t want to see. Farking great.

Shanna’s fine, of course. I got to answer a bunch of insulting questions about whether or not I’m letting Shanna play with bleach.

edited to add:

She didn’t literally ask if let her play with bleach. She was just really persistent in asking over and over about every single cleaning product in the house and whether or not they are locked up.

*grrr* stupid PAMF

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I just called trying to get an appointment for Shanna. She yanks on her ears enough that I have a very small amount of concern about an ear infection. Not a huge concern, but enough that I’m willing to go have her checked out as a basic preventative thing. So I called for an appointment. I was first told that I can’t have a well child check up if I think there is maybe anything wrong with her, I have to have a sick baby visit. When I told her I didn’t really think the baby was sick she got snippy and said, “Well what is it you want?” I said I wanted an appointment with a doctor. Then she told me to call Dr. x (my primary doctor)’s office and talk to them about what kind of visit to schedule. I told her I would like to see a different doctor and she asked me why. I told her I didn’t like the way Dr. x interacted with my daughter on the first visit and I would like to see a pediatrician. She told me to go online and browse profiles of doctors and call back and see if I can get an appointment with the one I select. Uhm, I’m going to be changing insurance plans soon so I don’t feel a need to spend a bunch of time searching for the “right” doctor, can I have an appointment with anyone who has an opening in the next day or so? She told me that I should just go to urgent care then. Goodbye and have a nice day.

WTF! Bitch!