Category Archives: Uncategorized

Social!

I got to be social this weekend and it was awfully nifty. And this week is a much heavier than usual socializing sort of week. I am really excited. 🙂 That said, I tend to socialize heavily for a week or two and then hibernate for two or three weeks and start feeling crummy and isolated. That’s not a great thing. So I’ll give myself a buffer of being a homebody for a few days even while trying to schedule something past that. Does that make sense? Hmmmm scheduling. 🙂 (This is your hint to ask me to do something after the 1st of May. Oh man that sounds like fun!) Now I’m singing First of May. 😀

Not that this post is even remotely about perverted stuff, but I haven’t used the icon yet. 🙂

The internet is slow

Or so complains a friend. 🙂 So that means I will have to entertain you all. Dangerous.

Hmmmm… yesterday I went and met a new-to-me mommy (*wave*) and she seems pretty cool. The right blend of snarky and crunchy combined with the fact that she is a non-techie married to a geek. I hope this relationship goes somewhere. 🙂

Today I had a Miss Laura over. That’s always lovely. Now we have chicken and potatoes in the crock pot with vindaloo sauce.

Hm. That’s not very entertaining. Ooh! I’ll play a game. How about if I say some number of statements (uhm… 20? Can I come up with that many?) about people who are regular readers/posters on my journal. Then y’all can see if you can pick yourself out of the list. (Of course I am only guessing at who the entire list of regular readers are, but I have some suspicions.)

1. Your art is neato. I think your blog is neato. You should post more. 🙂 Don’t be overcome by inertia!
2. I think I should come to BR and have you watch my kid. She’s fun. 🙂
3. You are the only short story author I actually take the time to read when you post new stuff. You should feel all special.
4. Competency and good cheer are the things I associate with you most strongly.
5. Yeah, Spider man shirts are totally over-rated. 😛
6. I wish I could build a house there. I really do. Poopy commuting.
7. I think your hair should be purple next. 😀
8. Dude, you should post about something other than travel. Like, I don’t have the foggiest idea what you actually do for a living and I’ve known you for a long time. (yeah you’re a geek, who isn’t around here? except for me of course.)
9. We would actually get around to having dinner if you CALLED ME.
10. I really hope we end up moving to the same place. That would be neat.
11. No shit dude, I think you are the funniest chick (I wanted to put person but if I did then everyone would assume it’s a guy and that’s just not so.) I know. Now, if we could work on your self esteem we would be golden.
12. You must know I love you. A day of eating chocolate is not my thing. 🙂
13. I don’t think I miss dancing as a whole all that much but I really miss dancing with you.
14. I don’t think I should call your dad anymore. I get the impression he would rather hear my news from you.
15. Can your family adopt me? Especially your mom.
16. I shouldn’t be envious, but I am because I can’t believe you dropped your baby weight already.
17. So, how is the weather up there? Are you freezing yet? Are you still happy you moved?
18. I’m glad that your cat is smart enough to know that you still need the routine.
19. I feel guilty when I read about your knitting and gardening. I would like to be so cool. 🙂
20. When are you going to visit this coast again? It’s always nice talking with you and it looks like I won’t be making it east this year.
21. I’m glad you finally got something like support from that stupid school.
22. You do a good job of giving tactful advice even when it isn’t solicited. I’m amazed at how well you walk the line of not pissing me off. And you have to be the most respectful debater I’ve ever encountered. Good job. 🙂

Ok. I need to go play with Shanna now. 🙂

Just to be a shit.

Elsenet someone said how much they hate cryptic posts. Just because I am a tremendous shithead I’m going to once again post 10 things I would like to say to people. Persons may or may not be on lj so feel free to be paranoid if you wanna. 😀

1. Sweetheart, stop trying to please your mother. You are working towards ruining your life really fast in this process.
2. I think you have very good reason to be mad at him. Don’t forget to preserve your boundaries.
3. In years to come I am going to wonder if dating you would have gone well.
4. I wish I could either banish you from the periphery of my social group or become friends. This awkwardness is just annoying.
5. You stop talking to me for long periods when you are ashamed to tell me what you are doing. Maybe you should rethink what you are doing. Anything you feel ashamed of can’t be good.
6. I’m crossing my fingers that you find the right person.
7. I appreciate you seeking me out. That feels really good.
8. Please learn to sleep without my boob in your mouth. (Ok, maybe y’all can figure out who this one is to.)
9. I wish you called more. By more I really mean that you do it at all.
10. I’m envious of you. I wish I was that pretty.

Question and Purging

As for the question I asked yesterday–I didn’t ask because Noah and I are having trouble negotiating. We are both very happy with how we work things out. The only friction at all is because I have an insane work ethic and I would cheerfully have both of us work 24/7. He does all that I reasonably expect from him and more. 🙂 And I checked this morning–he thinks I do plenty. I asked because this is a frequent theme on some of the boards I read and I was sort of curious how people I actually know feel about it.

I’m starting to feel the urge to get rid of a bunch of stuff. This may or may not have anything to do with the fact that I am moving everything out of the garage and trying to figure out how to fit it all in the shed. 🙂 Part of it is honestly that now that I am done with the comp exam I would kind of like to get rid of the books I had to read but I never actually liked. Why am I storing all of those? Am I trying to brag about how well read I am? Yeah… I think I’m kind of done with that. I don’t need them anymore so they are going to go away. (Before you say anything Rebecca, trying to sell them online would add a lot of hassle to my life that would not be proportional to the time I would have to spend on the project.)

And in looking at how much kid stuff we have I reached the conclusion that I really really don’t want any presents for Shanna for her birthday. She’s turning one. She won’t feel slighted and we have way too much stuff for her already. I should probably send email to the family. If people really feel like they just have to spend money on her I will ask them to give money towards her college fund. 🙂

Subjective opinions.

If I were paying someone to watch my kid while I worked they wouldn’t do any household chores, cook, or running errands. That work is valued by society as being good enough on its own–even if I am paying one person to watch my one child and it isn’t a group situation.

That said, how many hours a day do y’all think a stay at home parent should do housework/cleaning/cooking? As many hours as the work out of the home parent? More? Why?

Cranky pants

I’ve got my cranky pants on, oh yes I do.
I’ve got my cranky pants on, how ’bout you?
We can do a dance in our cranky pants,
And then we’ll go to the zoo.

This bit of dorkiness brought to you by the letters I H A T E N O A H S J O B. It’s a busy day for letters.

It’s awfully hard not to be cranky at Noah when I’m cranky at his job. I know that he’s not happy either so I then feel extra guilty for being a butthead. ARGH! URF! HATES THEM PRECIOUS!!!

Good enough

One of my wonderful friends told me that I inspire her because I have accomplished so much and I started out with so little. If I stop and think about that even semi-objectively she is right. But there is always that voice in the back of my head saying, “But you didn’t do ‘x’ and you failed at ‘y'” and those things seem to cancel out my accomplishments. But why? How do I lose credit for the things I have done? I got a high school diploma. I was the first one in my family to do so. I managed to avoid pregnancy/abortion when most folks in my life circumstances didn’t. I am not an addict and I seriously doubt I ever will be–given my familial background that is huge. I have a bachelors degree and a teaching credential. I have been to five foreign countries. I have been to 30 states including an amazing backpacking trip in Alaska (have I said thank you lately, DA?). I am a fairly technically skilled top. I am a very good teacher. I have a good eye for putting together colors in interior decorating (if I do say so myself. :P). I’m a good mom. I’m a good wife.

I am sane. I own my shit. I am good about boundaries. I give and receive respect. I am an honorable person.

If I fail the masters exam what have I lost? I lose out on the chance to have a piece of paper to hang on my wall. I lose out on the ability to feel snotty and superior because of my formally recognized education. In reality I won’t be more educated if I get the piece of paper. I will still be in the top pay bracket if I go back to teaching because no one can take away the units I have earned.

I’ve been having a serious identity crises lately because I feel like who I am has somehow become less since I became a mother. It’s rather bullshit though. I’m not actively doing a lot outside of being a mother right now, but that’s ok. That is the season of life I am in. I wanted it and doing this does not devalue me.

I am good enough.

Experimental cooking

I’m going to boil some spaghetti noodles and chard. Then I’m going to stir fry them with garlic, oil, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, maybe a splash of soy sauce.

Hm. I wonder if this will work out.

ETA: I added harisa which is a blend of hot red peppers, olive oil, spices, and garlic.

This is hella spicy but really good.

book talk

Many thoughts and feelings all jumbled up. I wonder how much of it is connected to the really complex and unsettled book I am reading. Midnight’s Children is utterly fascinating. I often have trouble getting into magical realism books at first and then I feel changed by the experience of reading them. I see more complexity in life and relationships. It’s really interesting.

To do

This is getting overwhelming to think about so I’m going to type it up.

Clean out garage. Most stuff has to go into the storage shed. (We are having our roof replaced.)
Study for comp exam.
Continue weeding in the yards.
Water plants.
Borrow/steal/buy a rototiller for the yards.
Buy a bench for the front yard.
Figure out how I am going to hang the baby swing.
Return baby swing. (different one from above item)
Touch up paint around house.
Take empty paint cans and batteries and light bulbs to recycling center.
Vacuum.
Harass people to hurry up and fill in the google doc with what meat they want.
Take comp exam on Saturday.
Try not to angst about SFSI interview.

Pump milk.
Cook food.
Figure out how to use up food in the garage.
Invite people over to drink bad wine with us. (I’m weird about just throwing it away. Anyone want to come drink bad wine with us? The more the merrier. 🙂
Get some exercise.
Buy new door for coat closet.
Wash windows.
Try not to obsess about amount of money being spent on new roof and solar panels.
Don’t eat out. (See above cooking reference.)
Wash car-inside and out.
Juice oranges from tree.
Fill hot tub.

Some of that has to be done this week. Some of that doesn’t have a definite finish date on it. I’m feeling very very busy right now.

I hear it is poetry month

In the course of studying for the comp exam (6 days and counting) I came across this lovely poem by William Wordsworth:

WE ARE SEVEN

——–A SIMPLE Child,
That lightly draws its breath,
And feels its life in every limb,
What should it know of death?

I met a little cottage Girl:
She was eight years old, she said;
Her hair was thick with many a curl
That clustered round her head.

She had a rustic, woodland air,
And she was wildly clad: 10
Her eyes were fair, and very fair;
–Her beauty made me glad.

“Sisters and brothers, little Maid,
How many may you be?”
“How many? Seven in all,” she said
And wondering looked at me.

“And where are they? I pray you tell.”
She answered, “Seven are we;
And two of us at Conway dwell,
And two are gone to sea. 20

“Two of us in the church-yard lie,
My sister and my brother;
And, in the church-yard cottage, I
Dwell near them with my mother.”

“You say that two at Conway dwell,
And two are gone to sea,
Yet ye are seven!–I pray you tell,
Sweet Maid, how this may be.”

Then did the little Maid reply,
“Seven boys and girls are we; 30
Two of us in the church-yard lie,
Beneath the church-yard tree.”

“You run about, my little Maid,
Your limbs they are alive;
If two are in the church-yard laid,
Then ye are only five.”

“Their graves are green, they may be seen,”
The little Maid replied,
“Twelve steps or more from my mother’s door,
And they are side by side. 40

“My stockings there I often knit,
My kerchief there I hem;
And there upon the ground I sit,
And sing a song to them.

“And often after sunset, Sir,
When it is light and fair,
I take my little porringer,
And eat my supper there.

“The first that died was sister Jane;
In bed she moaning lay, 50
Till God released her of her pain;
And then she went away.

“So in the church-yard she was laid;
And, when the grass was dry,
Together round her grave we played,
My brother John and I.

“And when the ground was white with snow,
And I could run and slide,
My brother John was forced to go,
And he lies by her side.” 60

“How many are you, then,” said I,
“If they two are in heaven?”
Quick was the little Maid’s reply,
“O Master! we are seven.”

“But they are dead; those two are dead!
Their spirits are in heaven!”
‘Twas throwing words away; for still
The little Maid would have her will,
And said, “Nay, we are seven!”
1798.

You’re kidding, right?

So I went to www.findyourspot.com and answered questions. Here are the top 24 places that site thinks I should live:

Little Rock, Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Salem, Oregon
Eugene, Oregon
Charleston, West Virginia
Shreveport-Bossier City, Louisiana
Corvallis, Oregon
Alexandria, Louisiana
Portland, Oregon
Santa Cruz, California
Monroe, Louisiana
Santa Barbara, California
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Ventura, California
Frederick, Maryland
Medford, Oregon
Baltimore, Maryland
Hartford, Connecticut
Valencia, California (Ironically–this is right around where I was born.)
Providence, Rhode Island
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Palo Alto, California
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Champaign-Urbana, Illinois

They didn’t have a question for, “Please sweet Jesus keep me away from the bible belt.”