I pick fantasy land.

Ok, fine. So the relationship isn’t “forever” and I can’t have you for the rest of my life even though it hurts so much to think of losing you that I can’t breathe. You don’t understand the depth of my feelings for you. You just don’t seem to know at all. Let me tell you: I have given up numerous things that are on some level important to me because I would do just about anything at all to make you happy. I have given them up willingly and almost happily just for the possibility of pleasing you. I love your smile, your kiss, your hugs, your voice, your eyes, you….. Yes, there are so many things that drive me absolutely crazy–but I expect that as part of the boy/girl dynamic and don’t really let it bother me that much.

I don’t want to lose you. I don’t feel like this relationship has run its course yet. I know it is selfish and immature and self-absorbed, but I have not had enough time with you yet. Please don’t leave me. Ok, so I can’t have you for the rest of my life. Can I have you for the next few months? I know you are leaving. I know you don’t want me the way I want you. Can we pretend? Can I please not have to deal with the horror of losing you yet? I just can’t handle it right now.

I know that I am too broken for things to work with us forever. I can and will cheerfully bury all of my brokenness for a period of a few months if it will let me be happy with you for just a little while longer. I know it is pathetic to beg. But, please. Please don’t leave me yet.