I have work to do, but this entry is buzzing around in my brain and maybe if I get it out I will be able to do some work.
On Saturday I went to Naughty. Whether this entry is porn or just me talking about my life is something that you must decide for yourself.
I have spent probably four out of the last eight hours fucking. Apparently I am not so high and mighty about the whole “younger guy” thing. He is pretty freakin amazing in bed and in order to get me into bed he has already seriously impressed me as a person. *sigh* Too bad Portland is so far away. Somehow I have a suspicion that my 2 times a year visiting may become 3 or 4. 🙂 He’s really really hot…
But uhhh… when I checked email and saw one from Google boy asking me about what it is that I am going to tell him about the weekend and he wants to hear about it if it will make me horny… yeah. I want to fuck again. Even though I am sore and tired from lots of hot sex.
Insatiable. That’s what I am. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I broke the rules last night, and the law.
I had fun. 😀
I went to three parties last night. The first two were raunchy sex parties. I got laid at both. I got laid more than once at the second one. I got to eat out a very wonderful girl–it’s been a while and damn was I missing that. I had several cocks in my mouth over the evening. (Now ya’ll know why I carry a toothbrush with me to parties and antibacterial soap! The coatcheck girls are amused by me running back and forth.)
Does anyone remember the guy I had a fling with about a year and a half ago? http://boot-slut.livejournal.com/69236.html (Yeah–that’s hard to ring a bell I know.) I asked him if he wanted a night, a week, or a month and he said he only wanted a night. I went for it and it was by far the best one-time sex I have ever had. We really click in bed. I did it agreeing to the terms of never ever contacting him again. He showed up last night. He zoned in on me immidiately and started flirting with me like crazy. *Then* we both figured out that we knew one another. Ha! He’s still that good in bed. We both still have one another saved in our phones. He said that he respects me tremendously for following the rules. He’s going to break the rules and keep in contact with me this time.
But the fucking amazing bit was–dude. He gave me the fucking speech. You know, the “I want to be play partners but I don’t think we should have a relationship” speech. I almost slapped him. I told him that he was a flaming asshole and that he is treating me like a clingy crazy girl and that is so far from reality that it is outrageous. I told him that if he wants to tell me that I am good enough to be a fuck toy and not good enough to be anything else then he doesn’t need to call me. He apologized and said that wasn’t what he meant. Yeah asshole, but it is what you *Said*. I gave him a chance to redeem himself and he sucked up prettily. If I weren’t so hot for him I would refuse to talk with him again, but as it is… yeah. I’ll talk to him again. He is fairly local and a very reliably fantastic fuck. He’s still an asshole though. I almost told him that the last guy who gave me that speech stayed with me for four years. I was good.
Oh, and the best acronym fill in the blank ever: Breeder In Training Coveting Husband.
Potential tmi stuff.
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With the hard drive crash I have lost The List.
I bet I could recreate it without a problem (Yes, I *do* remember everyone I have had sex with but it would take some thought) but I don’t know if I want to.
Is this maybe God’s way of telling me that the number shouldn’t matter?
(Opinions welcomed.)
I’m not particularly filtering this one even though normally it would go on my therapy filter. It’s kind of weird and disconcerting to be more open about this but I think there are people who are only more loosely part of my network who might be interested in this and maybe it might spur some thoughts and/or discussions that are positive.
As I am trying to get my thoughts in order I thought I would ask ya’ll some questions. This is one of those times when I want as much feedback as I can get. Given the nature of polls, it is hard to get nuanced answers so I encourage, nay beg! you all to comment with your individual perspectives and opinions.
I seem to be feeling better lately about play and sex cause I am sure as hell jumping back on the horse. Within the past 8 days I have:
Had sex with two people for a total of ~6 go rounds. (One night it is kind of fuzzy just how many times…)
Bottomed once.
Topped twice.
The median length of time I have known these people has been 2.175 years. 🙂
My ass is many many colors. I have a bruise bigger than my fist. That has got to be the best spanking I have ever received. He spanked me for over an hour. It was fucking awesome. Just spanking! Hard, rhythmic, yummy…
I’m pretty happy about the fact that I am playing with people that I have known for a long time and that I feel comfortable with. I think if I were jumping into playing with new-to-me people it would be harder and scarier.
And why the fuck am I not going to NY now. God damnit!
and I am crawling the walls horny. I had a stiff Cosmo and uhm… yeah… WANT!!!
How much ya’ll want to bet that I end up just sleeping tonight? I should grab my water proof vibe and go have fun in the bath tub.
Puppy is discovering something. Frankly, that he is just discovering it means he is pretty slow.
I am happier when I am having sex basically every day. The first piece of this is: that means I am in the mood every day. Me being in the mood for sex means that I am feeling up, happy, and much more secure. When I manage to shut my sex drive off, which I can do with conscious effort, I am more depressed, less bouncy, and generally just not “up.” And then there is the benefit of: having sex makes the brain produce all sorts of yummy chemicals which encourage me to feel good generally.
Puppy has made it very clear in our relationship that my sex drive is much higher than his. At times, he expresses this lovingly and just tells me not now. Other times though he gets frustrated with me and has gotten somewhat mean about it once or twice. I get the general impression he will never be mean about it again.
Combined with my last period (he thinks sex during that time of the month is gross) and just generally feeling kind of frustrated I decided to turn it off. That means that in the last week or so, we haven’t been very active. And I have not initiated at all in any way. He has noticed the general drop in my mood and commented on it. He also made note of my off/on switch and thinks it isn’t a good thing. Wednesday night we had a long talk about it after he tried to initiate sex and I did the equivalent of “can’t get it up” and he said that he hasn’t meant to complain about my sex drive nearly as much as I have heard it and really… he would like it to come back…
So I spent some time yesterday masturbating and reading porn and getting myself back into my normal “yayyyy sex” mode. Last night we had some fun. And this morning when I initiated, he took one for the team and put out again knowing that there will be sex tonight too. Twice a day is hard for him and most of the time he isn’t willing. I think he decided that rewarding me for doing what he wanted (turning it back on) was a good thing. I do know that twice in one day is still going to be a once a month or less thing. But it’s awfully fun when I get it.
EDIT: Bry and Sarah have earned my everlasting devotion. They had it anyway, but they get extra props now. 🙂
Lots of people have asked me what I would like them to bring. My answer is typically: you, yourself, and anything you think you would like to have.
But uhm… I woke up this morning with a craving…
A blended vanilla creme from Starbuck’s. They are freakin good. This is one of those NO COFFEE drinks. I don’t drink coffee.
I will love someone forever. Ok, so I’m going to love my friends anyway, but if someone has a hankering to spoil me I would be very grateful.
(In other news: I am likely to be in a really good mood all day despite being very tired. I have had sex not once, not twice, not three times, but four times in the last 24 hours. I’m really sore, but happy. Looks like Puppy just needs the right encouragement. [Me crying cause I feel rejected and unhappy and I get all antsy and pissy sans sex.])
DAMN it’s good.
So, Puppy is pretty damn good at sex. And I don’t just mean that he is skillfull at intercourse. I mean that he is experimental and he has very little ego involved in my responses to anything in particular. Let me ‘splain.
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I went to Davis. I felt fine before I got there. Then I got there. Then I started feeling crappy. I think I am allergic to Davis. I haven’t managed to shake the icki nose and coughing bit. 🙁
However, the party there was worth the small bit of suffering! Yummy people all around!! I like it when someone hears their partner having sex and that inspires them to want to have sex, and I am just so convenient! (ok, it wasn’t actually that I was convenient, I think I was the designated person for the night) and then! When we have sex… it inspires them to have sex again!! It is the most awesome thing in the world when that happens because the person I was having sex with seems to be conditioned to come when he hears his partner having sex! (I’ve never before had someone I was having sex with be triggered by someone who wasn’t involved. That was really amazing.)
I really like stumbling into hot couples/triads and getting to benefit from the supreme yumminess of all the people involved. And there were two such groupings at this party!!! I really have to say: my life doesn’t suck. I may not be having sex as often as I might prefer, but when I do it is with some really freakin amazing people. I’m actually pretty happy with how people are staying in my life and being repeats and I’m building relationships. I certainly seem to be building quite a network. yay. I love my friends. (I do seem to be finding a lot of couples/triads lately to spend time with. This is quite the trend. I wonder what this says about my current need for stability?)
Then I had a good date with Duck Boy. Target sucks. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are good movies. He really wants Macaroni and Cheese for dinner when I make vegetable stir fry and gyoza and spring rolls. Odd boy.
I want to write a long, beautiful, interesting story about my play this weekend but I am feeling totally blocked. You all get a short and more choppy story about What I Did Last Weekend. Cause I do want to share the basics anyway.
good stuff