I have been told all of my life that I am a negative person. I can’t count how many people have told me that. At this point I realize that the label doesn’t actually fit. I am not negative; in fact, I am very positive. The reason I have so many mood swings is because I have always had very good reasons to be upset and sad but I try to bounce back. If I weren’t fighting to be positive I wouldn’t have nearly so many mood swings.
Everytown has brought up some really heavy duty processing for me. Last night Noah and I were talking and I told him more of the pieces. I told him things I have literally never said out loud in my life. I feel raw and exposed and scared. I also recognize that I am very deeply depressed and if I am honest with myself I have been since the scary scene in late December. If I really stop and look at what has been happening I can see big patterns: I’ve significantly changed my eating habits for the worse, I’ve all but stopped moving let alone exercising, and I am hiding from people unless I have no choice. This has resulted in me gaining weight and losing muscle so I am progressively more unhappy about how I feel in my body. Ok, so I can see this happening. Now I need to figure out what to do about it.
I have been trying so hard to not acknowledge that I am falling into this pit because it feels like I am letting Noah down. But I’m here. And I need to deal with it. For the record: we are still in that “don’t give me advice” week. I don’t need meds; I have crawled out of this before by myself and I will do it again. The first big step in dealing with a problem is admitting you have it. Ok, I’m depressed. Time to start working on fixing it.
For the record: we are still in that “don’t give me advice” week.
🙂
*hug*
For the record: we are still in that “don’t give me advice” week.
🙂
*hug*
Oh – I’d like to see you. My schedule is much more open in the next couple of weeks, and I’m sure I’ll have an errand or two near you. (My credit union is in San Jose/Milpitas, for example.)
Would you like that?
Oh – I’d like to see you. My schedule is much more open in the next couple of weeks, and I’m sure I’ll have an errand or two near you. (My credit union is in San Jose/Milpitas, for example.)
Would you like that?
Firstly, much love to and for you.
Secondly, when do you want me to come see you? If you aren’t going out, I’ll come in.
Thirdly, tell me how I can support you at all.
Firstly, much love to and for you.
Secondly, when do you want me to come see you? If you aren’t going out, I’ll come in.
Thirdly, tell me how I can support you at all.
Good luck climbing out.
Naming the problem always helps me, so I hope it turns out that way for you too.
Hopefully in a few weeks you can look down the pit and realize you aren’t as far down as you are now.
Good luck climbing out.
Naming the problem always helps me, so I hope it turns out that way for you too.
Hopefully in a few weeks you can look down the pit and realize you aren’t as far down as you are now.
anything you need
let me know, ok?
Right where you are, and where ever you go.
No advice, just confidence in you and gratitude for your hard work and good role modeling.
*goodness – special for you!*
no advice
just warm thoughts & lots of that positive woo-woo stuff
love you
When I read that first line I was surprised.
I’ve never, ever thought of you as a negative person.
You inspire me. Negative people don’t do that.
Good luck.
If you’re up for people at some point, I’d love to get together with you again – probably weekend unfortunately, work continues to be unpredictable and nuts.
no advice?!?
well, shit…
that’s all i’m good for, buddy.
advice.
oh, and shovelling snow.
and replacing light bulbs in ceiling fixtures.
ok, so, and mowing grass, too.
but NOT killing bugs.
nope.
i *wish* i was better at killing bugs.
but i’m not.
and i’m never gonna be neither.
sigh.
oh!
gotta sing this next part.
like Elvis.
crooning “Love Me Tender”
ready?
ahem (that’s you clearing you throat – you ARE gonna sing this out loud, right?)
“Don’t give
me no
damned advice.
I’ll poke you
in the
eye.
I don’t
want to act
too nice
So you
can just
say ‘bye.’
If you
say you
know what’s best
I’ll smack
you in
the head.
If you
persist
I’ll get
a knife
and slice you
’til you’re
dead.”
the
end.
You can mow grass but *NOT* kill bugs?
*whew*
My job is safe.