I’ve been staying between 154 and 156 for the last few weeks. It goes up and down depending on the day. This is not a bad weight at all. In reality, Dr. Moser told me that he would be happy with me being between 150 and 155, so I’m basically at an acceptable place right now. According to Weight Watchers, I need to get to below 142. So I need to lose about 15 more lbs according to them. This is the last bit of weight that most people have trouble losing.

So I honestly wrote down what I’ve eaten in the last 4 days (I think my count is accurate) and tallied up the points like a good Weight Watchers girl. I’ve been eating more than twice my daily points. No wonder I’m not losing! But I’m not gaining either. I guess all the exercise is helping with that. I’m thinking that I’m going to be really strict with myself for two weeks and not use my flex points and just get the last push done with. It might turn into more than two weeks. I want to finish! I want to get to where I need to be so I can do maintenence and have my bloody extra points and be done! Give me my maintenece points, damnit!!!!!! Yeah yeah… I have to finish the program first.

Other thing I thought about: I have 13 days until I need to turn in my next paper. And only 36 days until I turn in my final assignment for the term. In the next 36 days I have to read: 3 novels and 8 plays and a big packet of criticism and a book on criticism and do research for two presentations and write an 8 page paper, then combine that 8 page paper and the other 8 page paper into a 20 page paper with more data, and write another 20 page paper and write a 15 page story.
Tom felt the need to point out that I only need to write like 2 pages a day and read a book and two plays per week. Well yeah, but I’m not slick enough to partition out my time like that. I have sat down with my calendar and blocked out days to do each paper and read each book. I am going to finish all of this stuff early so that I can get feeback from the prof’s. It is important to me that I actually feel like I have done a good job this term. I want to get A’s because I have earned them–not because I am so good at bullshitting.

This unfortunately means that I am going to be skipping some events in the next 3 weeks. 🙁 I need to stay home and push myself to FINISH. I will crawl out of my hole soon. I promise. Until then, everyone have fun and send me emails telling me about all your delicious fun. I provide other people with wank material, where is mine?!

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
“down to sleep… I have to recite verses, or the system”

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Ow. The bed-post.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I think ER

WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
11 something

Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11:08 (This one amazes me. People really do keep an awareness of time usually.)

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The heater.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I walked from my front door to the mailbox.

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
g-blog

What are you wearing?
Socks with pink, green, blue, yellow, and red toes painted on them and a red polo shirt.

Did you dream last night?
Yes, I can’t remember what about.

When did you last laugh?
I laughed when I was on the phone with Debbie tonight. Yay! Debbie is home!

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A mirror with pictures stuck in the corners. I see my partner when he was about 14 (wow his nose was fully grown already!) and my brother holding his oldest child when the kiddo was about a year old.

Seen anything weird lately?
Hm. Weird. I watched someone bring in a McDonald’s bag to class and pull out a…. McVeggie Burger. I thought that was strange.

What do you think of this quiz?
Mildly entertaining as I try to wind down.

What is the last film you saw?
Fatal Attraction.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Corsets for all the beautiful women in my life who want them. Visuals are important.

Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
Who the hell are you? Different people know different things about me! I’m obsessive about buying greeting cards. I see them and buy them and know exactly who I want to send them to… and then I never do. Cause I’m a dork. *sigh*

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Hm. If I could really change something about people I would like to install a good work ethic into more people. I think laziness is one of the things that causes big problems in the world.

Do you like to dance?
Love it.

George Bush: is the President of the country I live in.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Shannara Brittney

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Delaney Patrick

Would you ever consider living abroad?
Probably not. I like traveling in other countries, but I really do believe that I live in the best country in the world.

Will you pass on this survey?
Most of my fellow meme-lemmings have already done this one. I’m late!

“You are submissive with men who turn you on. You are dominant with everyone else.”
“Yeah, that just sounds so self-serving.”

This is what I write for class when I’m in a bad mood.
Insecurity

Ok, since I now know more than 10 people who all use the same gym as me, how about if I just post suggested work out times and whoever wants to can meet me there? 😀 Yay. I’m going to be having a late night tongiht, so I will be showing up a wee bit later than usual tomorrow. I’m going to get there around 11:30. It will interfere with lunchtime, but life’s a bitch. I will be ok. Maybe someone else will be as well?

Heh. Let’s see how this works.

Dude. I just finished a long rambly email to my ex. He and I have been talking somewhat sporadically for the past 6 months or so. I don’t know why I’m doing it. I think I would really like to be friends with him at this point. He is such a cool person! He is currently on tour with a band as the sound engineer. He is really happy that music stuff is finally going somewhere. I am thrilled for him. Although, frankly, he should be in the band–not just crew. He is a damn good sound engineer, but he is an amazingly talented musician.

I do confess that I would like to see him just to show off. He always wanted me to grow my hair out. I’m a lot happier with my looks these days. Quite an improvement over when he and I were dating. Heh. Stupid petty shit.

He wrote and performed songs for me. I still have the tapes. I listen to them sometimes. I have to smile and sing along. I was special to him and I feel good thinking about it. This is probably sick.

So, what piece of underclothing is your favorite? This question is probably geared towards somewhat heterosexual men thinking about women, but I would be happy to hear about the possibilities for men as well. 🙂

The people cleaning have left, that means I can go ponder how I spent yesterday evening. 🙂

*bounce*

*bounce*

It is surreal to me to work on stuff I shouldn’t be working on at school, but I have 5 more periods ahead of me with children working silently. Hm. What to do to kill the time…

I know! I’ll work on my scene report!

Cons are so odd. There is always drama. Someone inevitably gets upset. By the end of the weekend many people are cranky and everyone is tired. There are new connections, hot scenes, and usually interesting conversations. I sometimes wonder if the hassle is worth it, but I still want to go.
So much stuff!

We are lying in bed, we have both finally settled in. It has taken us this long to finish packing. Drifting off to sleep…
(This all takes place in very fuzzy voices.)
T: Is your list all the way across the room?

Me: Yes. Why?

t: I forgot to set an away message on my email.

Pause for several minutes.

Me: I need to go to the bathroom.

T: When you get up, can you make a note for me?

Me: Unnnnh

T: Would you like me to push on your bladder to make this process go faster?

Me: No.

T: Good. I didn’t want to move anyway.

Then I laughed like mad. He is such a dork. But so cute!!!

Ok, now I’m going to finish getting ready to go. But I wanted to remember this conversation.

angelbob put up a link: http://tomatonation.com/slut.shtml

Go there. Read it. Yay sluts.

Bloody hell. Eventually I will learn how to use freakin lj. Sorry for the screwed up link.

Let the feasting begin!

Friday night: intense spanking, verbal stuff, forceful… uhm.. treatment.

Saturday night: violet wand done intensely. yay me!

Sunday afternoon: tied up, spanked, light caning, extremely forceful…uhm…treatment.

Monday morning/afternoon: clips and face slapping and verbal play and even more rough… uhm… treatment.

All this and Kinkfest is coming up! Yay me!

This may or may not interest anyone.

All this mumbling in class:

“Learning to be sexually aggressive with you isn’t like having training wheels, it is like being tossed on a Harley.”

“They aren’t Communists, they are Socialists.” “That just means they are lazy and unorganized.”

“Thanks to you I’m trying to figure out what I want. I’m more confused than usual because I can’t clearly say what it is that I want.” ” You can thank me later.”

I have spent the day being very very amused.

The evening distinctly improved. Snuggling and Thai food for dinner. Yummy fooling around after he finished packing. I still can’t believe that he didn’t finish his packing sooner. It blows my mind. I didn’t tell him what I was thinking/feeling because it didn’t seem right. I’m sure there were a variety of convenience factors involved in him deciding to ask me to spend last night with him instead of one of the other people he is dating but I’m trying to think positively. It is a struggle for me. It is a weird concept to wrap my mind around that I am going to miss him like crazy and still never have an empty night.

My date for Sunday called yesterday and cancelled. I’m not really upset. I don’t think that things are happening at all there and I think he and I need to just acknowledge it and call it good. My dance card is full enough.

Yummy orgasms. I am much less happy about being awake at 6 am than I was about being awake at 4:30. But I had a cock forcibly shoved down my throat at 4:30. That will make any girl happy. Or at least it should! Ah well. I should try to get some sleep. I’m sad and tired and somehow wired. I feel like such a freak!

The day from hell. Awful kids treating me very very badly. I will never accept a sub assignment for this teacher again. (Well, not until the next school year when she has different kids.)

I went to the grocery store after work because we are completely out of everything vaguely healthy. I bought a bottle of wine intending to drink the whole thing myself and I wasn’t even carded. That is the first time I haven’t been carded. I guess my bad day showed on my face and all of a sudden I look old. What an ego booster.

I called my Daddy to whine and get some verbal condolences and he decided that I should meet him at his office and we would get ice cream. That was at least nice. The ice cream wasn’t nearly as important as getting an unexpected date with my Daddy. I need Daddy time some days. We only spent like 30 minutes together though because he had a meeting and such.

Now maybe my night isn’t quite so icki as I thought it was going to be. The boy that I’m in like with is going away for three weeks and he asked me if I could take him to the airport in the morning. Being a smart girl I negotiated some time tonight. I thought I was going to get very little time and most of that spent watching him pack. (Who the hell packs within 12 hours of leaving?! Oh, most normal people…) It turns out I will get a little more time tonight than I thought. Yay. Oh wait, he will still be packing the whole time. And we need to leave at o-dark-thirty in the morning so we aren’t going to be active all night long. I will get at least a little bit of snuggling in. Hey wait, and he has lots of mead. That is even better than wine! I guess I can delay my descent into a stupor for a little while. And if I’m hoping for some friendliness I won’t get smashed. I will however hopefully get mellow. Mellow good. Snuggles good. I really need to have a few orgasms tonight. Just for the sake of getting over a stressful day. I really hope it happens. *tap toes* I’ve kind of given up on sex, but I can at least be given an orgasm. I reciprocate!

I have awful awful awful kids today. They are screaming at me and telling me off and being nasty little bastards. I want to cry. It is hard not to take this kind of vitriol personally.

The monitor on the laptop completely died yesterday. *sob* *rip out hair* This means that I am going to have some really funky computer access for a while. I won’t really have access to my address book (knew I should have printed that sucker out…) so unless you have made it into my cell phone (I’m bad about adding people to my cell phone) I don’t have any way of contacting you for a little bit. Hm. I can however access my email via the web (yay for figuring that little bit out) so if you want to talk to me within the next week, two weeks, god knows how long it will take to have the monitor replaced… send me an email and I will have contact data! Yay.

This could also be an excellent time for me to say, hey! If you want me to be able to contact you in the general future, send me an email. Give me your name, rank, and serial number (or your phone number and email address and real address and such) and I will add you to my address book the next time I can run Outlook. Which shouldn’t take too long. This is an excellent time for people to get on my Christmas card list. 🙂 This is also an excellent time for people to get into my address book because that is how I am going to be announcing the party in May. (Oh, we ARE going to have the house finished by May and there will be a big party.) I’m not going to post many details about it here because that will feel like I am rubbing it the noses of people who are not eligible for attendance and I don’t want to do that.

Send email…

Although I do want people to answer my meme’s. It interests me.

I told ya’ll tonight that I was going to rant about this. You were warned… 🙂
Hair pulling: